| 00:00 - 00:03 | After weeks and weeks of planning |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | we have decided on a stag location |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | and were considering Berlin |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | Though a wonderful city full of history and culture |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | For hotel rooms under £100, we’d be out here |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | As long as we’re not going to a communist country |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | I don’t see this being a major problem |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Mein Führer |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | We… |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | We have decided on Tirana which is in Albania |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | As communist as they come |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | I want Paul, Peter, Ben. Everyone else go |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | You had one bastard job! |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | To arrange a fun weekend on the beers |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | But you can’t even arrange a piss up in a brewery |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | Instead we’re taking a Ryanair flight |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | To the fucking arse end of Europe |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | To visit a bleak commie bunker |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | ride a chuffing cable car |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | before going to a cheap novelty restaurant |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | Mein Führer, Ben was working the weekend of the Wales Italy game |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | I don’t give a shit about Ben and his flying schedule |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | We were trying to choose somewhere nowhere has been before |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | And why the fuck do you think that is? |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | Who goes to Albania? |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | Even the Albanian’s are trying to leave |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | Fucking boats full of them |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | Heading for the Italian coast |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | Because it’s so bastard bleak |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | It’s full of corruption, violent gun crime and a dislike of foreigners like us |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | Walking into the wrong pub could see you dead |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | And you wouldn’t chance flirting with a girl as you’d likely end up with your balls in your mouth |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | But you wanted somewhere different |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | Somewhere you can tick off to say you’ve experienced it |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | Somewhere you can say you’ve been |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | Albania… |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | You could have just chosen a trip to Glasgow and had a few pints with the Scots |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | it has a vibrant nightlife, good music and culture |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | We could have sung Celtic songs |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | Played drinking games with the friendly locals into the wee hours |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | Gone to visit Celtic Park |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | Don’t worry, they’re arranging another one in October |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | What’s Spaghetti Western got to do with burgers? |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | and “Fistful of Noodles” doesn’t even slightly work |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | Mr Paul |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | I fear this is your doing |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | If you think I’m sharing a room with Peter with his incessant snoring all through the night |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | You can think again, pal |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | Fucking Albania |
