| 00:00 - 00:03 | England have apparently hired a new manager |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | The recent ones failed |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | All across Europe |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | There were quite a few options for them |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | Some even adept at the European game |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | This is interesting |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | I bet they picked Potter or Monk. |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | My leader |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | They… |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | They apparently hired Thomas Tuchel |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | Please don’t take off your glasses in anger |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Bring me Gary Lineker from the basement. The… crisps man. |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | Thomas Tuchel is ours! |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | The finest German manager we have! |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | Why did we stick with Loew for so long? |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | The World Cup group stage loss isn’t so long ago |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | We look better but we’re shit |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | As we then lost against Spain at the Euros |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | England got to the final with fucking Southgate |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | Twice they’ve done it |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | My leader, they sacked him for that |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | You limp dick, he actually resigned his position |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | My leader, I think they pushed him |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | It’s semantics! They did it to come after our own |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | The fucking English |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | They do this all the time |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | No trophies and shite football |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | But they still find a way to fuck us |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | Next I’ll be sent a lady to say Lineker escaped |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | The one fucking thing we had over them |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | Their most noted football presenter |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | And even a very popular podcast owner |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | Top 10 most popular every week |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | I don’t know why that bothers me so much |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | I banned it so none of you listen anyway |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | Fuck Lineker |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | This is about their national team |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | They even ruined Jadon Sancho |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | And he was so good at Dortmund |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | Maybe he’ll do well at Chelsea |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | I feel for those who bought his Man Utd shirt |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | At least you didn’t buy Mason Mount’s |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | So they have hired Thomas Tuchel |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | Well let them have him I guess |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | One positive… |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | Maybe they’ll get Bayern Tuchel |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | His tactics won’t pay off and they’ll call up fat Kalvin Philipps or Lingard |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | I fucking hate the England team |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | And fuck Spurs too |
