Bauernfeind PT Test

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660 views10/25/2023
One of the worst humans to every wear a uniforms is forced to take a PT test and his reaction is typical of his leadership style.

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00:00 - 00:03Herr Bauernfeind
00:04 - 00:05You will do sit ups and push ups
00:05 - 00:07And you will run this 1.5 mile route
00:08 - 00:12Someone will be watching and timing
00:12 - 00:15And of course they will measure your waist
00:17 - 00:19Someone will hand waive my test
00:19 - 00:21I will not be measured
00:24 - 00:26Herr Bauernfeind
00:27 - 00:28The Chief...
00:31 - 00:33The Chief of Staff has directed you take the full test
00:34 - 00:36You will be measured
00:53 - 00:58Unimportant people leave the room
01:13 - 01:15There is no tape big enough for my waist
01:15 - 01:17You must fix this!
01:18 - 01:23I will end you all!
01:25 - 01:28I can't do a push up with a gut like this!
01:29 - 01:31I can't do this as a fatass!
01:31 - 01:34If I do a sit up it will break the earth!
01:34 - 01:37This is impossible!
01:37 - 01:40How could this happen!
01:40 - 01:42I will hold your feet sir!
01:42 - 01:46It will take ten of you to hold my swollen feet!
01:46 - 01:48Sir the Chief has directed
01:48 - 01:52Fuck the Chief of Staff!!!
01:53 - 01:54I will not be measured!
01:56 - 01:57I have been protected my entire career!
01:57 - 02:00How can it end like this
02:00 - 02:03Does the Chief not know who I am?
02:04 - 02:08I am Cat 5 dammit!
02:08 - 02:13I've been bullet proof forever!
02:14 - 02:16I destroy people for doing the same things I do
02:17 - 02:21I crash CV-22's and get away with it!
02:27 - 02:29I treat Airmen like dirt and I am celebrated!
02:30 - 02:34I am too important to fail!
02:34 - 02:36I've been bullet proof forever!
02:41 - 02:42I will not be measured!
02:43 - 02:47I am the one who ruins careers!
02:48 - 02:53Not the other way around!
02:54 - 02:56Someone call Daddy Slife
02:56 - 02:59Daddy Slife will fix this
03:00 - 03:02You will see, he will save me again
03:04 - 03:07Don't worry, I will make him a sandwhich
03:14 - 03:16This just can't be
03:19 - 03:23Please Daddy Slife, save me
03:25 - 03:26Slife you must help me...sobbing
03:31 - 03:33Please!!!
03:40 - 03:46Now bring me a cheeseburger
03:46 - 03:49with Fries AND Onion Rings
03:53 - 03:56Yes, Herr Bauernfeind