| 00:00 - 00:03 | Students know the dropout rate |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | Revenue is in danger |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | Our annual report is late |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | We are unable to shut down |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | Reddit or Linked In ... |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | Our China website is good |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | membership will still grow |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | I have bad news... |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | The mood among students |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | is not positive |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | Many ridicule us on Reddit |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | All of you out. Except the Diversity Commando Unit |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | We have devoted 100s and 100s of hours |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | to promoting diversity equity and inclusion |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | Where are the thousands of new joiners? |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | Those from disadvantaged backgrounds? |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | Why don't women believe we value them? |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | What is wrong with defending wife beating? |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | We don't really mean that FGM is ok when we defend it |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | Why haven't we got a Muslim President yet? |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | Some Muslims think compound interest is evil |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | It's only CM1. What's the problem? |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | Perhaps we should remove it from the syllabus? |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | To make us more "inclusive"?? |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | We could also bring in the 82 genders |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | What the fuck will the CMI do with 82 genders! |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | Who will pay for the new mortality tables? |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | DEI was supposed to increase membership |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | not make us a laughing stock! |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | How are we going to recruit top students?? |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | Did Einstein believe in ectoplasm? |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | No he bloody well did not |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | People identifying as cats will apply |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | And why can't we hold the AGM? |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | Our accounts are meant to be simple |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | We are not a hedge fund! |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | What happened to certainty out of uncertainty? |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | What on earth is the holdup?? |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | We've had 3 months to do the accounts! |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | Get me the auditors! |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | I'll soon sort them out |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | Don't worry, the FRC won't do anything |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | What will the Treasury think? |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | We'll can tell them about ... |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | our new even more governance structure |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | That will reassure them |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | and as for the students |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | Tell them to pipe down |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | or we'll make the exams even harder |
