A statement from the chairman

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565 views5/4/2021
Ron Martin hears of blues relegation and issues a statement to his staff.

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00:00 - 00:03Right listen lads, we're really in the shit this time
00:04 - 00:05The vegans just lost to Barrow
00:05 - 00:07which means, Kings Lynn away.
00:08 - 00:12Our 101 year stay in the EFL is finally over
00:12 - 00:15and next season we'll be playing shit like Wealdstone.
00:17 - 00:19But Scunthorpe haven't play
00:19 - 00:21and there's still a chance on goal difference
00:24 - 00:26Mr Martin
00:27 - 00:28Scunthorpe
00:31 - 00:33Scunthorpe just got a point away to Bradford
00:34 - 00:36What we all feared, has now been realised
00:53 - 00:58National League? Bromley, Yeovil, Solihull, Dover..
01:13 - 01:15You said get Phil Brown Back
01:15 - 01:17I said get Mick McCarthy
01:18 - 01:23How am I meant to build my flats on Roots Hall now?
01:25 - 01:28there'll be protests next..
01:29 - 01:31Stella Cans, Traffic Cones
01:31 - 01:34Six games was more than enough
01:34 - 01:37This wouldn't have happened under Mick McCarthy
01:37 - 01:40We'd be in league one now playing Hull.
01:40 - 01:42But Mr Martin, we started the season under an embargo
01:42 - 01:46What Embargo? I got us Holmes and that Lockett Rothchild bloke
01:46 - 01:48Mr Martin, we needed strikers not injuries..
01:48 - 01:52You listen to me, I'm not taking my Bentley to Wrexham
01:53 - 01:54The Bootlegger will key it..
01:56 - 01:57and don't even get me started
01:57 - 02:00on that raider bloke.. you've got no fans
02:00 - 02:03One look at uncle Ron and he'll shit himself
02:04 - 02:08You forget i'm an ex pro bobsledder
02:08 - 02:13This was my manor back in the days of rocket Ronnie Martin
02:14 - 02:16I even got us Ranger from Spalding
02:17 - 02:21him and Mick would've got on like a house on fire.
02:27 - 02:29But no, you said get Phil Brown..
02:30 - 02:34Said his tan had mystical forces..
02:34 - 02:36That can produce miracles in six matches
02:41 - 02:42Fuck right off
02:43 - 02:47I am not driving all the way down to Yeovil for an 8pm on a tuesday
02:48 - 02:53and how many miles do you think maindehead is...
02:54 - 02:56Atleast there's Dagenham
02:56 - 02:59I used to enjoying spanking them on Boxing Day
03:00 - 03:02Atleast we new we were guaranteed 3 points
03:04 - 03:07Don't worry, he doesn't care about us fans
03:14 - 03:16Has anyone told HMRC yet
03:19 - 03:23That's the stadium well and truly out the window now..
03:25 - 03:26The fans
03:31 - 03:33It's all.. their fault..
03:40 - 03:46I shall release a statement, honouring myself as supreme leader of Southend United
03:46 - 03:49and then, we are getting Mick McCarthy in..
03:53 - 03:56and that is final