| 00:00 - 00:03 | The press have asked us to comment on our new name |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | They don't seem to like it |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | They don't understand our objective |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | We are trending |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | And the BBC are covering it too |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | The BBC you say? |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | And twitter? |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | They hate it |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | Really hate it |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | abrdn, i like it |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | It's modern and relevant |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | You named us after the shitest part of our business, and then removed the vowels?? |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | THE FUCKING VOWELS! |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | £1.2 million pounds, you fucking idiots! |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | First we get in to bed with Aberdeen |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | Then it's Phoenix |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | Losing the Lloyds contract!! |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | Then you spell our name like a fucking 4 year old |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | We're a fucking joke! |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | The staff would rather work for Aegon!! |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | Aegon are a very well respected insurer |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | They are shit as well you idiot! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | They do have a new online platform |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | At least we can pronounce their fucking name! |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | What about us!? |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | abrdn, a burden? abandon? |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | How the hell do you even say it? |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | It's fucking garbage |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | I let you take charge of one thing |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | One fucking thing |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | AND WE ARE MOCKED ON THE BBC |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | THE BBC MOCK NOBODY!! |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | We will lose business to Royal London! |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | Aviva! |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | Scottish fucking Widows! |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | The share price |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | it will fall through the floor you clowns |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | £2.76! We will need to reduce divdends again |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | when Sandy got his arse on a platter |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | he at least had his Ferrari to make him feel better |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | I've got to answer to fucking Shareholders now! |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | It's alright, they'll explain how to pronounce it later |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | If we update our website |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | they might never notice it changed |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | We can deny it happened |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | We can claim to still be a mutual |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | With Profits can return |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | We'll be answerable to nobody |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | nobody.. |
