| 00:00 - 00:05 | I was CEO of Delta. Best damn bean counter in the industry. |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | My hair. My shoes! |
| 00:07 - 00:10 | Ask the FA I'm banging--you know, my baby mamma. |
| 00:11 - 00:16 | And the money--my pockdts are stuffe so much money. |
| 00:17 - 00:21 | You know how? Buybacks. |
| 00:21 - 00:24 | I looted the company! |
| 00:29 - 00:31 | My condo. My tesla. |
| 00:31 - 00:34 | 2 or 3 families. I lost count! |
| 00:38 - 00:40 | Let's talk about those pilots. |
| 00:41 - 00:47 | What a bunch of morons. I ripped up their contracti n BK...threw out their pensions |
| 00:47 - 00:50 | That Moak guy was a complete puppet. A total buffoon. |
| 00:50 - 00:56 | I even told the judge I was losing sleep over not taking enough! |
| 00:58 - 00:59 | And I'm about to do it again! |
| 00:59 - 01:01 | These idiots! It was me who put us here... |
| 01:04 - 01:06 | And now I'm going to get more from them! |
| 01:06 - 01:08 | We created this thing called SkyHub |
| 01:13 - 01:14 | We can say anything... |
| 01:14 - 01:16 | Just make stuff up! |
| 01:16 - 01:20 | There is no accountability! Anything we want! |
| 01:21 - 01:27 | And let me tell you a secret about "rules of the road." It's complete bullshit. It's for the little people. |
| 01:35 - 01:36 | What idiots! |
| 01:36 - 01:39 | We've gotten a lot of mileage out of the "keep your backpack" line... |
| 01:41 - 01:44 | But no matter what I say, there are plenty of them who... |
| 01:44 - 01:47 | ...I can't believe it...they trust me |
| 01:47 - 01:49 | I don't get it. So I loot the company, |
| 01:50 - 01:53 | piss away a stultifying amount of free cash |
| 01:54 - 01:56 | All that cash! |
| 01:56 - 01:58 | And I got so much of it! |
| 01:58 - 02:02 | And the BOD, they got plenty too. Cash. Out the door. Gone. |
| 02:05 - 02:07 | Well, not exactly gone. It's mine now. |
| 02:10 - 02:11 | I almost feel bad. |
| 02:11 - 02:13 | But now--and I should't be laughing, I know-- |
| 02:15 - 02:17 | There's a global crisis. |
| 02:17 - 02:20 | I just can't stop laughing. I don't know why. |
| 02:21 - 02:28 | Maybe it's all the money I'm about to get... |
| 02:29 - 02:30 | Into the ground! |
| 02:30 - 02:32 | I ran this company into the ground. |
| 02:36 - 02:39 | You know what I'm talking about. I see you there, Moak. |
| 02:40 - 02:42 | There's my baby mamma. "Me too?" I don't think so. |
| 02:50 - 02:55 | Anyway. I just can't believe this. |
| 02:56 - 02:58 | Despite my gross incompetence... |
| 02:58 - 03:04 | My complete lack of stewardship, my greed.. |
| 03:04 - 03:09 | I'm about to get a massive buyout! |
| 03:09 - 03:11 | They're going to pay me to go away! |
| 03:16 - 03:20 | Beachfront condo. Tesla. First class for life. Unlimited NetJets! |
| 03:23 - 03:26 | And the pilots are still begging to take concessions! |
| 03:31 - 03:36 | I'll be happy to take selfies with anyone after the show. |
