| 00:00 - 00:03 | Here are the new meta reports for Archero, we've crunched all the numbers. |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | The best hero is Meowgick. |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | The Stalker Staff is the most powerful weapon. |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | We stack Vest of Dexterity and two serpent rings, with an Agile Locket for maximum dodge. |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | The enemies won't be able to touch us and they will be overrun with deadly kittens. |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | We've already maxed Helix. |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | The Legendary Tornado we built from buying all the Chapter packs will work. |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | My Fuhrer, ... |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | ...the Staff... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | The Staff has a crit boost which renders all other weapons obsolete. |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | You can't even beat Chapter 14 Stage 4 without it. |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Everyone who uses Atreus, Urasil, Rolla, Onir, Taranis, Bonnie, or Phoren get out. |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | Helix was the BEST! |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | Who needs dodge with default RAGE?!?!? |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | Do pussy cats increase your damage when the Double Archers in Chapter 11 relentlessly shoot you in the face? |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | This pandering to the weakest players is worse than Fortnite. |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | When is it going to be easy enough? |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | Only the Brightspear and Stalker Staff are ranked SS! |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | Doesn't anyone realize how many upgrades those need to rival the Tornado? |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | Ricochet, Piercing, Multi-shot and Attack Speed. |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | My Fuhrer, we're still doing better than 99% of other players. |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | The 99% are just free-to-play losers that can't even afford the bi-weekly Battle Pass! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | My Fuhrer, Meowgick is available for free-to-play users. |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | Great, maybe they'll add a Hero dismantle option so we're not 99% buttfucked! |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | It's too late! |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | We're already on Chapter 14... |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | ...my kids didn't even get Christmas presents because I had |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | to buy all those bullshit Chapter Packs just to get a couple more |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | items I actually use in the game only to have 90% of the other RNG garbage items |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | take up all the room in my inventory screen, mocking me everytime with that worthless Legendary Bow right at the top. |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | It took 2 more months to finally fuse my Legendary Tornado! |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | and then they add this feline squirting, LGBT parade mascot, Meowprick, and we can't even get halfway through Chapter 14 without him! |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | Helix made the game fun again. |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | His special ability gave us hope in the darkest times with only single digit HP remaining. |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | He required the evasive skills of a mongoose. |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | Now it's a cakewalk. |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | Anyone with all the senses of Hellen Keller can just wipe their ass with the screen against the Chapter 11 Double Archers now... |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | ...and still come out unscathed with all that dodge and crit! |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | Most of us in the top 1% completed Chapter 11 pre-nerf with Phoren or Taranis. |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | I'd love to see these F2P toddlers try to pull that off without their kitten spewing Stalker Staff. |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | We had to use all our gems on revives just to get killed off again! |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | It's ok, you still get daily gems. |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | Maybe they'll add a hero that has Rage and conjures flying monkeys... |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | I'm sure in a couple of years of F2P playing I'll have a Legendary Staff too. |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | I'm broke. |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | the Chapter Packs are all gone... |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | If I'd have known they were going to add these OP items down the line I'd have never spent a penny on this crack cocaine meth laced game. |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | I hope the developers choke on their lobster tails and filet mignon. |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | I'm gonna go attempt Chapter 14 again. |
