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The Prime Minister returns from his holidays
29,740 views • 12/21/2019
The PM holds a meeting of his trusted advisers to plan a way forward
00:00 - 00:03
The fires have surrounded Sydney and people have died.
00:04 - 00:05
The smoke is choking people
00:05 - 00:07
along the whole east coast -
00:08 - 00:12
the hipsters in Melbourne have started complaining
00:12 - 00:15
and the last handful of public servants left in Canberra are ready to leave.
00:17 - 00:19
Just put out a presser
00:19 - 00:21
saying it's a State and Territory issue.
00:24 - 00:26
00:27 - 00:28
00:31 - 00:33
we've already tried that and it didn't cut through.
00:34 - 00:36
The Australian people demand leadership.
00:53 - 00:58
All those who think climate change is a reality and needs immediate attention will get out of my sight.
01:13 - 01:15
All I wanted was a nice family holiday
01:15 - 01:17
relaxing in Hawaii with Jenny and the girls
01:18 - 01:23
and what the bloody hell happens while I'm away?
01:25 - 01:28
You can't even keep it a secret
01:29 - 01:31
and hide it from the media.
01:31 - 01:34
Can't a bloke have a bit of a rest?
01:34 - 01:37
And Michael fucking McCormack and his 20 National nutters
01:37 - 01:40
want to run the country from fucking Wagga Wagga and...
01:40 - 01:42
Prime Minister, he has discovered self-combusting manure...
01:42 - 01:46
He couldn't discover his arse with both hands....
01:46 - 01:48
Prime Minister, we are a coalition.
01:48 - 01:52
Why am I surrounded by incompetence? Don't you know who the bloody hell I am?
01:53 - 01:54
I'm Scott from Marketing
01:56 - 01:57
I'm the best marketer to ever be PM
01:57 - 02:00
Master of glib lines, winner of elections, slayer of
02:00 - 02:03
Shorten and the daggiest dad in all of Australia.
02:04 - 02:08
For over 10 years our glorious Liberal party has hemmed and hawed,
02:08 - 02:13
lied and deceived, and employed creative accounting, all to prove the unprovable -
02:14 - 02:16
that we're reducing carbon emissions.
02:17 - 02:21
And now it's come to this, that that fucking Greta girl, and those damn scientists
02:27 - 02:29
have finally won.
02:30 - 02:34
Well, we've fought the good fight, and even tried the last roll of the dice
02:34 - 02:36
by distracting with my Religious Discrimination Bill.
02:41 - 02:42
All for nought.
02:43 - 02:47
The people have seen through it all, even though I am the Master of Marketing.
02:48 - 02:53
And now we might have to do something other than Thoughts and fucking Prayers
02:54 - 02:56
It seems hopeless. Even Albo is doing something
02:56 - 02:59
and that prick Tony Abbott is probably even fighting the fires too
03:00 - 03:02
If he can hold a hose, why can't I?
03:04 - 03:07
You can always get an office girl job in Barnaby's office.
03:14 - 03:16
Well, I know what we have to do...
03:19 - 03:23
We'll do what is necessary to win the next election.
03:25 - 03:26
We'll actually do something...
03:31 - 03:33
Angus, put a stop to any new coal mines
03:40 - 03:46
and we'll need to resist Rupert and his conga line of elderly white blokes denying climate change -
03:46 - 03:49
that's Donald and Boris and Jair, too
03:53 - 03:56
Get me Greta on the line...
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