| 00:00 - 00:03 | Some important news I have to tell you. |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | The trailer for the new Jason Bourne installment, |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | called Jason Bourne, has been revealed. |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | It will have Matt Damon, with roles from previous instalments returning, |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | and its preceding film is The Bourne Legacy, starring Jeremy Renner. |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | Then just wait until Steiner tells me more, |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | and I will say if it is good or bad! |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | My Führer. |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | Steiner. |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | Some fans say that it will probably be bad, |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | with most of the criticism towards the storyline and the action scenes. |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | For those who intend to watch the new film, stay put. |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | I agree with Steiner! |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | I bet this new installment will be crappy as hell! |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | I do not need them to make a new installment! An installment with a different storyline and action scenes that will prove less entertaining! |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | Even Matt Damon's acting will suck! |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | Seriously, James Bond could be better than Bourne, hence making more than 20 films over 50 successful years! |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | And everyone will turn away from Jason Bourne and turn to 007 James Bond! |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | The trailer shows that there are too many CGI and crappy action scenes, |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | and still, HOW THE HELL CAN THERE BE NO ROOM FOR A STORYLINE AND GOOD ACTING! |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | My Führer, I thought that this would be an improvement over the past installments! |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | YOUR OPINIONS ARE JUST RUBBISH! Don't try to mess with me! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | But My Führer, I will get more action out of the new Bourne film! |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | If you think that this new film is better than Spectre, then think twice! |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | YOU ARE WRONG! |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | You see I have watched James Bond all my life, |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | I've always loved watching the marvellous action, |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | until Jason Bourne came and ruined the fun! |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | Well with Jason Bourne, I only like the first three films, maybe the fourth, |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | but with James Bond, I've always loved every film, every time! |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | I just want the film industry to stop making Jason Bourne and make more James Bond! |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | The reason why I mostly hated Jason Bourne is because none of the films had a proper Russian antagonist, such as Stalin! |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | Well, screw Matt Damon! |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | Just admit it: James Bond has way more experience, |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | more experience than goddamn Jason Bourne! |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | They better not make a sequel to that new installment, |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | OR I WILL FIND MATT DAMON AND BEAT HIM UP, |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | and I don't care if he is near to fatality, HE CAN ROT IN HELL FOR ETERNITY! |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | Watch something else other than Bourne, that's my advice! |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | Because the crew chooses the wrong actors, |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | and the actors' roles for playing villains are crap! |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | Don't cry, we bought the full box set for James Bond. |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | James Bond is better, to conclude. |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | At least their films are like a proper action film should be, |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | the acting is outstanding, |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | the storylines make sense, |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | and they have sexy women, unlike Jason Bourne. |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | So this is why you should watch Jason Bourne. |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | It is the best action movie franchise of the whole entire world. |
