00:00 - 00:03We've all turned in our midterm papers now.

00:04 - 00:05Some of us put them in your mailbox,

00:05 - 00:07which is somewhere over here behind Staufer Hall.

00:08 - 00:12It doesn't look like you've checked it in forever,

00:12 - 00:15but you never said how they should be turned in.

00:17 - 00:19Fine. I'll find them.

00:19 - 00:21Just as long as you cited in MLA.

00:24 - 00:26Professor...

00:27 - 00:28You said...

00:31 - 00:33You said the first day we should cite in Chicago style.

00:34 - 00:36The same time that you said we shouldn't double-space.

00:53 - 00:58Everyone leave. Except Keitel, Yodl, Krebs, and Putner.

01:13 - 01:15Of course you double-space!

01:15 - 01:17There are no professors who don't want you to double space!

01:18 - 01:23And seriously, why waste time with something as ridiculous as Chicago style!?

01:25 - 01:28You must all have shit for brains.

01:29 - 01:31I don't remember the shit I said the first day!

01:31 - 01:34All I remember is that Johnson scratched his nuts over and over!

01:34 - 01:37The syllabus very clearly states

01:37 - 01:40that you are to cite all work in MLA format!

01:40 - 01:42Professor, we thought your instructions overrode the syllabus

01:42 - 01:46Nothing overrides the syllabus! The syllabus is law!

01:46 - 01:48Professor, I need a new pair of underwear.

01:48 - 01:52I knew it. I thought I smelled stupidity and yesterday's rotting pizza!

01:53 - 01:54You're disgusting!

01:56 - 01:57I should throw all your moronic, single-spaced papers

01:57 - 02:00out with this guy's dirty underpants!

02:00 - 02:03I swear to god, you're a bunch of mouth-breathing garbage!

02:04 - 02:08You do nothing day and night, you just waste time and space

02:08 - 02:13and I'm stuck grading your worthless chicken shit!

02:14 - 02:16It's hard to be a professor these days!

02:17 - 02:21You've got your tablets, and laptops, and computers -- they're scary!

02:27 - 02:29And my hemorrhoids are a bitch these days.

02:30 - 02:34I have PhD. A PhD from Rice!

02:34 - 02:36That's, like, almost as impressive as Rutgers!

02:41 - 02:42And you...

02:43 - 02:47are just dumb, sex-crazed undergraduates. You don't know shit!

02:48 - 02:53Always playing grab-ass in the quad, or in the bookstore. Disgusting!

02:54 - 02:56You complain that my lectures are nonsensical,

02:56 - 02:59then stare blankly at your phones like a bunch of retards!

03:00 - 03:02You eat horse shit on campus that's making you fat!

03:04 - 03:07Not you. You've always been fat.

03:14 - 03:16I got crabs when I was in college.

03:19 - 03:23They just... wouldn't go away, no matter how much I shampooed.

03:25 - 03:26It smelled awful.

03:31 - 03:33So bad. Everyone knew.

03:40 - 03:46Change your underpants. Change them as soon as you can.

03:46 - 03:49Do not be remembered for always smelling like total shit.

03:53 - 03:56Everyone just failed the class.