| 00:01 - 00:04 | Welcome to the intern placement meeting. |
| 00:04 - 00:09 | In this meeting we will assign all new interns to a location and to a manager. |
| 00:09 - 00:15 | As you see on the map we will send most to an affordable city like Cincinnati. |
| 00:17 - 00:22 | (Manager) Wait a second... what was that blue arrow on the map for? |
| 00:24 - 00:29 | That arrow... was... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | That arrow represents an intern... from the west. |
| 00:33 - 00:36 | ...he slipped through the cracks. |
| 00:52 - 00:59 | I need some time with the recruiters... everyone else... needs to get out. |
| 01:13 - 01:18 | Wasn't I clear that I wanted interns that LIVE to work 16 hour days? |
| 01:19 - 01:24 | You know he's married to a beautiful wife and has a chubby baby at home don't you?! |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | We can't allow him to enjoy this! |
| 01:31 - 01:40 | I want you to assign him to a manager who will only be available to help him two days each week! |
| 01:40 - 01:43 | Sir but you know Boston is the only place that a manager like that exists... |
| 01:43 - 01:46 | Then assign him to Boston!! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | But sir, he'll never be able to afford that... |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | How do you not understand that that is exactly what we want? |
| 01:53 - 01:55 | Unbelievable!! |
| 01:56 - 01:59 | I'm going to spell out exactly what you are going to do. |
| 01:59 - 02:02 | You are going to make sure that everything we told him to expect |
| 02:02 - 02:04 | is the opposite of what he experiences! |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | I want you to make sure no one replies to his email requests! |
| 02:09 - 02:12 | I want people to ignore his meeting requests |
| 02:12 - 02:17 | and when they do meet with him I want them act like they don't know the answers to his questions. |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | I want him to feel like there is no organization to what we do here!! |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | I can't hire someone who loves... |
| 02:30 - 02:31 | ... his family more than his job. |
| 02:31 - 02:34 | With priorities like that... |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | ... I doubt he'll work 16 hour days. |
| 02:41 - 02:45 | I bet he won't even want to join our LBGT groups either! |
| 02:45 - 02:48 | Then who will we give the rainbow name badge stickers to? |
| 02:48 - 02:52 | I paid for those with my own personal credit card! |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | I bet knowing that wouldn't even get him to wear one. |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | Just thinking of this makes me want to EXPLODE! |
| 02:59 - 03:02 | Make sure his computer has problems too!! |
| 03:05 - 03:07 | It's okay... his wife will have fun in Boston. |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | I bet he'll even do a good job. |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | it just... it reminds me of how nice it would be to enjoy my job. |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | But I don't. |
| 03:27 - 03:31 | [Shock throughout the room] |
| 03:31 - 03:34 | Plus... I'm 50 and single. |
| 03:34 - 03:40 | [Awkward Silence] |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | If I can't find happiness I certainly don't want our interns finding it. |
| 03:46 - 03:48 | At least he'll have fun on the weekends... |
| 03:53 - 04:00 | I work those days too. |
