00:00 - 00:03Following the success of the General Election a sea of blue has swept the South-East
00:04 - 00:05 Our mission has achieved a Commons majority.
00:05 - 00:07 Hardly a Red patch seen from Dorset to Kent
00:08 - 00:12With the obvious exception here in this region...
00:12 - 00:15 But that was expected given the uprising in these parts..
00:17 - 00:19What is this circle ?
00:19 - 00:21 The one around Brighton & Hove
00:24 - 00:26 Mr Cameron
00:27 - 00:28Gideon
00:31 - 00:33Brighton Pavilion was held by the Greens
00:34 - 00:36And Hove went to Labour
00:53 - 00:58I.. want... all.. non-election strategists to leave the room
01:13 - 01:15You lost Brighton & fecking Hove !
01:15 - 01:17My crowning glory, my dream victory, Brighton & fecking Hove !
01:18 - 01:23That city, with those lentil munching, left wing, sandal wearing, Kylie loving mincers..
01:25 - 01:28A sea of blue ? I wanted to live in the Royal Pavilion
01:29 - 01:31And dance in Revenge
01:31 - 01:34I don't mean Revenge, I mean somewhere else.
01:34 - 01:37I thought we'd driven them into the sea
01:37 - 01:40But you tell me these free-thinking radicals are still partying.
01:40 - 01:42Mr Cameron, we won Kemptown, surely that is enough.
01:42 - 01:46But that includes Rottingdean-it's a 4,000 vote start
01:46 - 01:48Mr Cameron, we still have some control
01:48 - 01:52What with Simon Kirby, he voted for Gays to be married.
01:53 - 01:54They'll be forming a Republic
01:56 - 01:57These people won't conform...
01:57 - 02:00They hate the our provincial ways of Conservative life
02:00 - 02:03They ride bikes, and re-cycle if their council lets them
02:04 - 02:08Before we know it they'll have their own red and green flag
02:08 - 02:13They'll be badges and picnics, they'll even welcome foreigners
02:14 - 02:16They'll even invent their own Monopoly game
02:17 - 02:21Actually they did, and Peacehaven wasn't on it
02:27 - 02:29I've got a lovely caravan there too.
02:30 - 02:34I like to go for a holiday with Rupert Murdoch
02:34 - 02:36So he can write our manifesto.
02:41 - 02:42I wish we'd lost in now, I do
02:43 - 02:47I would swap it all to wipe that smug grin away
02:48 - 02:53That Caroline Lucas and her anti-establishment people based ideology.
02:54 - 02:56I hate that fecking do-gooder.
02:56 - 02:59And Labour in Hove, Peter Kyle and his working class values.
03:00 - 03:02And not even a UKIP'er for consolation
03:04 - 03:07Don't worry, the vegan burgers in The Lanes are to die for.
03:14 - 03:16I suppose it could be worse after all....
03:19 - 03:23They wouldn't get enough support for their Republic
03:25 - 03:26It wouldn't even get 100 likes on Facebook
03:31 - 03:33They're too busy
03:40 - 03:46Shopping in Infinity Foods, preparing their Pride outfits, riding their bicycle trains.
03:46 - 03:49And the greatest consolation of all...
03:53 - 03:56The Council must be Tory now...