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ONS muck up the sex question in the census
ONS officials tell the Chief Statistician that they're being taken to court

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00:00 - 00:03These are judicial review plans from Fair Play For Women
00:04 - 00:05They are going to take us to court
00:05 - 00:07In the next few days
00:08 - 00:12They say we're buggering up the sex data in the census
00:12 - 00:15And that we're conflating two separate demographic variables
00:17 - 00:19Can't we just have...
00:19 - 00:21Those nice little tick boxes
00:24 - 00:26Sir Ian...
00:27 - 00:28The...
00:31 - 00:33The tick boxes have been agreed already
00:34 - 00:36And the census website is live
00:53 - 00:58I want to know who was involved. Just you? Or were there others?
01:13 - 01:15This is an absolute clusterfuck
01:15 - 01:17How can you cock up a simple question?
01:18 - 01:23Human beings are sexually dimorphic for god's sake!
01:25 - 01:28You can't 'identify' as a woman!
01:29 - 01:31Only women have vaginas!
01:31 - 01:34Men are the ones born with penises!
01:34 - 01:37It's not pick and mix!
01:37 - 01:40Not just what you fancy!
01:40 - 01:42Sir Ian, I think you are not understanding..
01:42 - 01:46Are you trying to tell me it's COMPLICATED?? It is not!
01:46 - 01:48Sir Ian, please let me explain...
01:48 - 01:52Explain? Explain WHAT? There is nothing to explain!
01:53 - 01:54It is simple.
01:56 - 01:57There are two sexes.
01:57 - 02:00The male sex and the female sex.
02:00 - 02:03It's not a potluck dinner!
02:04 - 02:08One day I feel this way, the next another.
02:08 - 02:13You have a vagina, you pick female. A penis, you pick male.
02:14 - 02:16This is not difficult even without a science degree.
02:17 - 02:21I am starting to doubt YOU have been trained in the scientific method.
02:27 - 02:29I bet you've never used SPSS.
02:30 - 02:34What kind of training is that?
02:34 - 02:36An abacus is not going to cut it.
02:41 - 02:42We count. It's what we do.
02:43 - 02:47Counting is important. Counting is everything!
02:48 - 02:53And now these menopausal women are angry.
02:54 - 02:56Because they want us to count vaginas.
02:56 - 02:59We can still count goddman penises too.
03:00 - 03:02That shouldn't be beyond our competence!
03:04 - 03:07It's okay. They will count you. You have a vagina.
03:14 - 03:16I loved my abacus as a young boy.
03:19 - 03:23I was going to count everything. All the things in the world!
03:25 - 03:26And now...
03:31 - 03:33The women hate us.
03:40 - 03:46They are going to take us to court and make us look like idiots.
03:46 - 03:49They will say we haven't done our homework.
03:53 - 03:56We will be humiliated.