| 00:00 - 00:03 | These are judicial review plans from Fair Play For Women |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | They are going to take us to court |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | In the next few days |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | They say we're buggering up the sex data in the census |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | And that we're conflating two separate demographic variables |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | Can't we just have... |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | Those nice little tick boxes |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Sir Ian... |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | The... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | The tick boxes have been agreed already |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | And the census website is live |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | I want to know who was involved. Just you? Or were there others? |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | This is an absolute clusterfuck |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | How can you cock up a simple question? |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | Human beings are sexually dimorphic for god's sake! |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | You can't 'identify' as a woman! |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | Only women have vaginas! |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | Men are the ones born with penises! |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | It's not pick and mix! |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | Not just what you fancy! |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | Sir Ian, I think you are not understanding.. |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | Are you trying to tell me it's COMPLICATED?? It is not! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | Sir Ian, please let me explain... |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | Explain? Explain WHAT? There is nothing to explain! |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | It is simple. |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | There are two sexes. |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | The male sex and the female sex. |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | It's not a potluck dinner! |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | One day I feel this way, the next another. |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | You have a vagina, you pick female. A penis, you pick male. |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | This is not difficult even without a science degree. |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | I am starting to doubt YOU have been trained in the scientific method. |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | I bet you've never used SPSS. |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | What kind of training is that? |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | An abacus is not going to cut it. |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | We count. It's what we do. |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | Counting is important. Counting is everything! |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | And now these menopausal women are angry. |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | Because they want us to count vaginas. |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | We can still count goddman penises too. |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | That shouldn't be beyond our competence! |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | It's okay. They will count you. You have a vagina. |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | I loved my abacus as a young boy. |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | I was going to count everything. All the things in the world! |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | And now... |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | The women hate us. |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | They are going to take us to court and make us look like idiots. |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | They will say we haven't done our homework. |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | We will be humiliated. |
