00:00 - 00:03Malaki has been searching for a new singer
00:04 - 00:05So far, they have looked here
00:05 - 00:07here, and here.
00:08 - 00:12As you are aware, they needed someone with dynamic range
00:12 - 00:15and someone with a rich bell like musical tone
00:17 - 00:19Yes, yes, I submitted my audition months ago
00:19 - 00:21Just waiting for them to get back to me...
00:24 - 00:26My Leader...
00:27 - 00:28They...
00:31 - 00:33They have announced they found a new vocalist.
00:34 - 00:36They posted a clip on Facebook.
00:53 - 00:58All of my vocal instructors...please leave the room.
01:13 - 01:15WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK?!
01:15 - 01:17I spent like 6 fucking hours recording "Crutch"!
01:18 - 01:23I made it into my OWN style, I even added death metal growls
01:25 - 01:28Their last singer was a whiny bitch and they rejected ME?
01:29 - 01:31I didn't even autotune the harmonies
01:31 - 01:34I sang that shit way fucking better than that Journey wannabe asian kid
01:34 - 01:37I fucking OWNED that shit
01:37 - 01:40And they think the found "The One"?
01:40 - 01:42Sir, but the chick in the clip sounded fucking awesome.
01:42 - 01:46A fucking little girl?! With such a heavy band?
01:46 - 01:48My Leader, the female voice compliments it beautifully!
01:48 - 01:52Shut the fuck up you know less about music than Paris Hilton knows about DJing
01:53 - 01:54 Fuck you and Fuck Malaki
01:56 - 01:57I've been working out, and even though I'm 56
01:57 - 02:00I dont look a day past 25 on stage
02:00 - 02:03I even have scene hair, why the fuck did I get this haircut? I look retarded
02:04 - 02:08I have connections, we could have played the Wacken Festival
02:08 - 02:13Who the fuck does this chick think she is anyway? I bet she's from fucking Wisconsin or some other shithole
02:14 - 02:16"Miracle" was basically me and my ex, I felt that shit in my heart
02:17 - 02:21Los Angeles will eat her alive and shit her soul into the Pacific!
02:27 - 02:29maybe they emailed my back...
02:30 - 02:34and it fell into my spam folder
02:34 - 02:36Yes, that's what must have happened
02:41 - 02:42What do I do now?
02:43 - 02:47Have you seen the other fucking bands looking for singers on Craigslist? They're all fucking terrible
02:48 - 02:53They should all be infected with ebola and die while blood and shit stream out of their eyes like a geyser
02:54 - 02:56They barely qualify as musicians
02:56 - 02:59Im pretty much the only great vocalist that posts on that site
03:00 - 03:02Hell, I turned down a private audition for The Voice
03:04 - 03:07Shhhh, without Shakira that show sucks now.
03:14 - 03:16This was my last shot at greatness
03:19 - 03:23Im not done yet...Maybe I will send an audition tape to...
03:25 - 03:26Queensryche.
03:31 - 03:33Their new guy is shit... I have a chance.
03:40 - 03:46Perhaps Malaki will let me come on stage and do a duet of "Ordinary Life" when they come to Berlin
03:46 - 03:49Without the low harmonies in the bridge, that song is shit anyway.
03:53 - 03:56What a load of bullshit.