| 00:01 - 00:07 | Hello Chess Lovers! |
| 00:08 - 00:13 | Our blunderful imperator has just sent us a happy announcement to be published |
| 00:14 - 00:18 | I am happy and honoured to announce the happy announcement |
| 00:19 - 00:20 | From the farthest and diabolic west [...] |
| 00:21 - 00:23 | a slim and handsome Angel came to our heavenly peoples republic |
| 00:24 - 00:30 | He has beautiful dark hair and dark eyes and he is a member of mensa |
| 00:31 - 00:35 | He had run away to our state with his innovative invention |
| 00:36 - 00:38 | not to let it decay in the rotten and lazy societies |
| 00:39 - 00:42 | An automatic Chess Board with wooden pieces |
| 00:43 - 00:46 | One for each home in our beautiful country |
| 00:46 - 00:49 | Raise your hands to hail our dictator not to move the pieces around |
| 00:49 - 00:52 | Place your orders at 555-SAY-JUICE |
