| 00:00 - 00:03 | This is an historic storm we are in. |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | We are interlodged. |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | An avalanche came down Toledo bowl |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | ...another one at Snowbird Entry 1, and another at White Pine. |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | And a final big one at Tanner's Flat. |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | But soon we will be skiing... |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | ...we will be up there skiing the whole mountain |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Sir... |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | ...they are... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | They are closing the mountain for the whole day. |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | They may be able to re-open on Saturday. |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Leave the room if you don't have an IKON pass, Mountain Collective, or if you're an entitled local. |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | What did I come here for? |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | What the hell did I come here for? |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | I am Tom Fucking Calamari, and I can ski wherever the hell I want! |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | I am better than ski patrol! |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | I am better than the locals! |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | Jesus isn't as good a skier as I am! |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | I can ski Baldy Chutes with my eyes closed! |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | I've done High Boy laps in my sleep! |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | Sir, the avalanche danger is too high. |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | I signed a waiver, I can ski where I want. |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | Sir, it's not Alta's decision, it's the law. |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | You think the laws apply to me? They don't. |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | I'm Tom Calamari! |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | I'm the best skier on the mountain. |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | I've never met a local who can ski better than me. |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | They're so entitled with all their powder. |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | Powder every day, right up the canyon. |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | I hope they all crash into trees. I hope they break their legs. |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | I signed a waiver. |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | These ski patrol act like little dictators -- like Stalin. |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | I've been skiing here for years.. |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | ...spent thousands of dollars...I'm the reason they're in business. |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | But do they appreciate me? |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | No, fuck them! |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | I signed a waiver! Only I decide if I can ski! |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | I traveled all the way from Philly, even used my airline miles. |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | Now, I can't take that trip to Orlando. |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | I won't get to see Mickey Mouse in Orlando! |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | I stuck here suffering like an idiot! |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | It's okay, maybe he'll get to ski on Saturday. |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | I could have gone to Vail... |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | They have the nicest back bowls in the world. |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | Never any lines... |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | A trick, by Alta. |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | I am the best skier on this mountain and I could prove it if they just let me out there... |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | ..but they keep me inside. |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | I signed a waiver... |
