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Skiing in Utah
Tom Calamari travels to Utah but is thwarted by some silly avalanches.

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00:00 - 00:03This is an historic storm we are in.
00:04 - 00:05We are interlodged.
00:05 - 00:07An avalanche came down Toledo bowl
00:08 - 00:12...another one at Snowbird Entry 1, and another at White Pine.
00:12 - 00:15And a final big one at Tanner's Flat.
00:17 - 00:19But soon we will be skiing...
00:19 - 00:21...we will be up there skiing the whole mountain
00:24 - 00:26Sir...
00:27 - 00:28...they are...
00:31 - 00:33They are closing the mountain for the whole day.
00:34 - 00:36They may be able to re-open on Saturday.
00:53 - 00:58Leave the room if you don't have an IKON pass, Mountain Collective, or if you're an entitled local.
01:13 - 01:15What did I come here for?
01:15 - 01:17What the hell did I come here for?
01:18 - 01:23I am Tom Fucking Calamari, and I can ski wherever the hell I want!
01:25 - 01:28I am better than ski patrol!
01:29 - 01:31I am better than the locals!
01:31 - 01:34Jesus isn't as good a skier as I am!
01:34 - 01:37I can ski Baldy Chutes with my eyes closed!
01:37 - 01:40I've done High Boy laps in my sleep!
01:40 - 01:42Sir, the avalanche danger is too high.
01:42 - 01:46I signed a waiver, I can ski where I want.
01:46 - 01:48Sir, it's not Alta's decision, it's the law.
01:48 - 01:52You think the laws apply to me? They don't.
01:53 - 01:54I'm Tom Calamari!
01:56 - 01:57I'm the best skier on the mountain.
01:57 - 02:00I've never met a local who can ski better than me.
02:00 - 02:03They're so entitled with all their powder.
02:04 - 02:08Powder every day, right up the canyon.
02:08 - 02:13I hope they all crash into trees. I hope they break their legs.
02:14 - 02:16I signed a waiver.
02:17 - 02:21These ski patrol act like little dictators -- like Stalin.
02:27 - 02:29I've been skiing here for years..
02:30 - 02:34...spent thousands of dollars...I'm the reason they're in business.
02:34 - 02:36But do they appreciate me?
02:41 - 02:42No, fuck them!
02:43 - 02:47I signed a waiver! Only I decide if I can ski!
02:48 - 02:53I traveled all the way from Philly, even used my airline miles.
02:54 - 02:56Now, I can't take that trip to Orlando.
02:56 - 02:59I won't get to see Mickey Mouse in Orlando!
03:00 - 03:02I stuck here suffering like an idiot!
03:04 - 03:07It's okay, maybe he'll get to ski on Saturday.
03:14 - 03:16I could have gone to Vail...
03:19 - 03:23They have the nicest back bowls in the world.
03:25 - 03:26Never any lines...
03:31 - 03:33A trick, by Alta.
03:40 - 03:46I am the best skier on this mountain and I could prove it if they just let me out there...
03:46 - 03:49..but they keep me inside.
03:53 - 03:56I signed a waiver...