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SAFe - The Final Solutioning
A Bluejeans recording of a Scrum-of-Scrums meeting late in a PI

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00:00 - 00:03We've been tracking our progress through the PI so far.
00:04 - 00:05We expected to be at 85%...
00:05 - 00:07...but we're a bit behind.
00:08 - 00:12If we can get teams to swarm on a few of these epics in 6.5,
00:12 - 00:15then I think we can get back on track by the IP iteration.
00:17 - 00:19We can deprioritize...
00:19 - 00:21...as long as we complete Bootcamp.
00:24 - 00:26Servant Leader...
00:27 - 00:28...Bootcamp...
00:31 - 00:33Bootcamp has turned red and won't be finished.
00:34 - 00:36And it has consumed all our capacity.
00:53 - 00:58Everyone leave except P... M... O... that's it.
01:13 - 01:15SAFe was supposed to scale!
01:15 - 01:17They called it an agile framework that scales!
01:18 - 01:23You convinced us to spend millions on the training and licenses and for what!
01:25 - 01:28This was supposed to improve our velocity.
01:29 - 01:31It's exactly the same as before!
01:31 - 01:34How can you complete 90% of projects planned 3 months ahead?
01:34 - 01:37We're not doing either agile or waterfall!
01:37 - 01:40Have you sat through a Scrum-of-Scrums meeting?
01:40 - 01:42Servant Leader if only the engineers would swarm then SAFe would work
01:42 - 01:46How do you expect to plan so far ahead with vague requirements?
01:46 - 01:48Servant Leader, only if we had more scrummasters...
01:48 - 01:52So they can create more meetings and slow down developers?
01:53 - 01:54LET THEM CODE!
01:56 - 01:57They're already "swarming" on QA...
01:57 - 02:00and doing CICD's job for them.
02:00 - 02:03"Teach a man to fish" my ass!
02:04 - 02:08And you're asking why our velocity is down?
02:08 - 02:13Who believed that SAFe would magically make it possible to delivery everything.
02:14 - 02:16You just can't plan for bugs and changes.
02:17 - 02:21All we've done is burden ourselves with a new process that adds nothing but overhead!
02:27 - 02:29We used to be fast and flexible.
02:30 - 02:34Agile isn't perfect... but it doesn't pretend to be!
02:34 - 02:36It embraces it's own flaws!
02:41 - 02:42And for what?
02:43 - 02:47We've doomed ourselves to steer the Titanic with every new PI!
02:48 - 02:53What am I supposed to report back to Vista?
02:54 - 02:56They'll force a new process on us.
02:56 - 02:59Another "perfect" solution for the process!
03:00 - 03:02Where we can delude ourselves again!
03:04 - 03:07Don't worry, we'll discuss it at our retrospective.
03:14 - 03:16Tell product we're reducing scope.
03:19 - 03:23We'll have to roll over all unfinished epics to the next PI...
03:25 - 03:26...and reprioritize.
03:31 - 03:33Sales won't be happy.
03:40 - 03:46But they've probably already sold these unfinished features...
03:46 - 03:49...so it's Product Marketing's problem now.
03:53 - 03:56Schedule the next PI.