00:00 - 00:03Good Afternoon Meine Fuhrer
00:04 - 00:05We have had reports
00:05 - 00:07Metal Detectorists falling sick
00:08 - 00:12One of the sick was apparently
00:12 - 00:15 trying to swim in the barley stubble naked.
00:17 - 00:19It was a very hot day
00:19 - 00:21They must have had Heat Stroke
00:24 - 00:26Meine Fuhrer
00:27 - 00:28Eva
00:31 - 00:33had Baked them one of her "special"
00:34 - 00:36 Chocolate Brown Cakes
00:53 - 00:58Brown Carter and Kribbs stay behind
01:13 - 01:15What the fu*% are you telling me
01:15 - 01:17Eva had baked them space cakes?
01:18 - 01:23This is meant to be a metal detecting Rally
01:25 - 01:28You stupid people
01:29 - 01:31These was meant to be sent to
01:31 - 01:34Creamfields and Leeds festival.
01:34 - 01:37This was meant to be all about the hammy dances
01:37 - 01:40Not getting chased by pink unicorns riding Harley Davidsons
01:40 - 01:42They certainly looked Hammered !
01:42 - 01:46This is no laughing matter you bafoon
01:46 - 01:48Meine Fuhrer Im Sorry
01:48 - 01:52The event resembles a scene
01:53 - 01:54out of a zombie film
01:56 - 01:57We have had to send our luftwaffe
01:57 - 02:00to pinpoint the poor souls lost around
02:00 - 02:03"High" Melton
02:04 - 02:08What happened to all the usual party games
02:08 - 02:13Irish Bingo
02:14 - 02:16And the Token Hunt
02:17 - 02:21Now the marquee looks like
02:27 - 02:29A Field asylum
02:30 - 02:34for the deranged and the marquee covered in vomit
02:34 - 02:36I will never hear the last of this
02:41 - 02:42Facebook instagram
02:43 - 02:47and all that social networking shi*
02:48 - 02:53instead of pictures showing
02:54 - 02:56WW2 Buttons and a random Hammered Coin
02:56 - 02:59Instead its going to contain Ambulances
03:00 - 03:02and spaced out detectorists
03:04 - 03:07Do you have any left Eva?
03:14 - 03:16We need to make this right
03:19 - 03:23Remove some of your golden buttons and medals
03:25 - 03:26and bury them
03:31 - 03:33in the plough line
03:40 - 03:46And pull out the karaoke
03:46 - 03:49Someone will want to sing
03:53 - 03:56Black Sabbath's “Sweet Leaf”