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Neil's Stag Party Invade Bristol
All was quiet on Friday 28th March 2014, until around teatime when Hitler gets some very upsetting news...

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00:00 - 00:03Listen up everyone - some wankers from Derby are in Bristol city centre...
00:04 - 00:05So far, they have been pissed here
00:05 - 00:07here, and here.
00:08 - 00:12From what we can tell, they're celebrating a "Schtag Partie"
00:12 - 00:15and are staying in this budget hotel here.
00:17 - 00:19I have heard of this before. It's just ordinary lads going
00:19 - 00:21round the poncy bars in Bristol.
00:24 - 00:26Sir...
00:27 - 00:28They've...
00:31 - 00:33Drunk the bastard place dry.
00:34 - 00:36All the real ale in Bristol has gone.
00:53 - 00:58Right. Anyone who's ever drunk Worthington Creamflow needs to get the fuck out of this room...
01:13 - 01:15How can this bloody well happen?
01:15 - 01:17A Schtag Partie that likes real ale should have been eliminated!
01:18 - 01:23No Butcombe? No Milk Stout? No Engine Oil?
01:25 - 01:28And I bet they've been to some seedy lapdancing place too.
01:29 - 01:31You should all be force fed Skol and
01:31 - 01:34bloody well shot by the SS.
01:34 - 01:37All that real ale was mine you twats!
01:37 - 01:40You know my policies regarding Cask Ales and you let these cretins sup it all...
01:40 - 01:42Sir, the group included Neil Bestwick, Andy Salt and Lee Raynor...
01:42 - 01:46You fucking idiot - they can drink ale for the UK Olympic Squad you bellend!
01:46 - 01:48Sir, there was experienced and seasoned drinkers in their ranks...
01:49 - 01:52I don't give a fuck if George Best and Oliver Reed were relative amateurs to this lot!
01:53 - 01:54You shouldn't have let them in!
01:56 - 01:57They could have drunk rats piss lager all weekend
01:57 - 02:00or maybe even some of that cider shit
02:00 - 02:03but now all I have left is Babycham and Tesco Value vodka...
02:04 - 02:08Why couldn't they have stayed in Derby
02:08 - 02:13where there are better pubs with better beer
02:14 - 02:16you utter bastard wank stains...
02:17 - 02:21How am I going to explain this to the dickheads who run the Bristol branch of CAMRA?!?
02:27 - 02:29they're going to think I'm some sort of retard letting
02:30 - 02:34northerners sup our ale...
02:34 - 02:36You can't support something you don't understand
02:41 - 02:42Too much of this...
02:43 - 02:47Too much of this running in without thinking
02:48 - 02:53Just throw reasoning out the door and show people you're angry.
02:54 - 02:56Yeah. That'll work.
02:56 - 02:59Who do they think they're fooling?
03:00 - 03:02The whole thing is a sham!
03:04 - 03:07It's okay Anna, we all retweeted.
03:14 - 03:16The protesters will leave with politician's promises
03:19 - 03:23They'll feel satisfied with the results
03:25 - 03:26"We won."
03:31 - 03:33Nothing. Will change.
03:40 - 03:46Keep looking for a leader to pop up.
03:46 - 03:49If they make concrete demands, they may stand a chance.
03:53 - 03:56We'll see how this all turns out.