00:00 - 00:03My Fuhrer, we've received some disturbing news
00:04 - 00:05We have been sent a report
00:05 - 00:07from our informant inside Heritage Hall
00:08 - 00:12Gerard Martinez is reporting
00:12 - 00:15That Lynn Swann will keep Clay Helton as USC's head coach
00:17 - 00:19That is simply not possible
00:19 - 00:21He had to have seen the Stanford game
00:24 - 00:26My Fuhrer
00:27 - 00:28he was..
00:31 - 00:33he was playing golf that day
00:34 - 00:36He was also golfing during the Texas and Utah games
00:53 - 00:58All Board of Trustee Members...get out now.
01:13 - 01:15How can he keep that idiot?
01:15 - 01:17He has an offensive coordinator that cannot spell wonderlic
01:18 - 01:23He hired his hillbilly uncle to coach hiis offensive line
01:25 - 01:28His QB coach has not reached puberty yet
01:29 - 01:31His teams are as soft as the Maginot Line
01:31 - 01:34My nephew's flag football practices
01:34 - 01:37 are tougher than his No Pads Novembers
01:37 - 01:40Chuma didn't practice this week due to a hangnail!
01:40 - 01:42but he's a nice guy and the kids love him
01:42 - 01:46He isn't running a fucking Day Care Center!
01:46 - 01:48My Fuhrer, the team needs fresh legs for the game on Saturday
01:48 - 01:52Why do they need fresh legs?
01:53 - 01:54They don't block or tackle anyone!
01:56 - 01:57Poland had a better defense than USC has
01:57 - 02:00The only thing they lead the country in is penalties!
02:00 - 02:03Helton should line up the next player who commits a personal foul against a wall, and have him shot
02:04 - 02:08That would stop the penalties!
02:08 - 02:13While he is at it, he should also line his coaching staff against the same wall..
02:14 - 02:16and have them shot too!
02:17 - 02:21This team needs a head coach that will not take shit from anyone...like Stalin!
02:27 - 02:29Do you know what it is like
02:30 - 02:34To watch this team play game-after-game
02:34 - 02:36and not improve at all?
02:41 - 02:42It's like watching the Italian army
02:43 - 02:47Now they will go up and play the Beavers, who will lay down faster than the French did
02:48 - 02:53Then they will come and get their asses kicked by Cal!
02:54 - 02:56Even UCLA might wake up and give them a game
02:56 - 02:59Then they will play Notre Dame
03:00 - 03:02Who will beat them like a red-headed stepchild
03:04 - 03:07Don't worry, I'll hide the TV from him on Saturday
03:14 - 03:16and the worst thing is
03:19 - 03:23I bought a luxury box for next year
03:25 - 03:26I don't think
03:31 - 03:33I can survive another 4 years with Helton as coach
03:40 - 03:46Do you remember when things were different?
03:46 - 03:49When we had a real coach?
03:53 - 03:56God... I miss Pete Carroll