Enemy at the front gates
1,792 views3/9/2016
A call-centre HQ and the latest market intelligence reports have arrived on the CEOs' desk
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▸Show captions (48)
| 00:00 - 00:03 | I have the latest list of new customer numbers |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | high-street agents and hybrid agents are taking market share on all fronts |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | our market share is falling in the West |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | And our new elite expert regional divisions are falling back on all fronts |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | We are losing the battle across all fronts |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | Our PR and media team will solve all our problems |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | A few press releases and some dodgy claims will sort this. It's always worked before |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | My glorious leader |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | Stephen couldn't get you onto Sky News tonight |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | And BBC Question time aren't returning his calls to try to get you on the panel |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | The following staff will stay here. Stephen, Tariq, Bernard and Tarquin |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | That was an order! |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | You were ordered to get me onto question time! |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | Who do you think you are to disobey my orders?! |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | Do you know how fantastic I would have looked and sounded on that show? |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | Everyone has let me down |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | especially my PR and media team |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | My support team are a bunch of contemptible, lazy, good-for-nothings |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | Everyone on that team are disloyal cowards |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | My glorious leader, I cannot allow you to insult the team like that |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | They are useless traitors and in the pay of the high-street agents |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | My leader, this does not comply with HR policy |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | I ask to go on question time and the team have stabbed me in the back |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | I'm gutted! |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | They call themselves experts |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | Years of writing blogs and tweeting |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | Just to send a Facebook message |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | For years the high street agents have hindered my plans |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | They have used hard statistical facts to hold me back |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | What I should have done |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | was get them to join a multi-listing system with Mealham |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | I never passed an NAEA exam |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | and yet I have raised millions in crowd-funding |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | from the peoples of europe all by myself |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | Traitors |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | I have been deceived and betrayed from the beginning |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | What a monstrous betrayal of the house-selling public |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | But the traitors will pay |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | They will pay with their own jobs |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | I will let them go in a re-structuring exercise |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | Don't worry Trace' we'll go down to the Victoria Arms and sink a few later |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | My order have fallen on deaf ears |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | Under these circumstances I am no longer able to lead |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | It's over |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | The game is up |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | But my friends, if you think I am going to leave Brentwood |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | you are seriously mistaken. I'd rather blow my brains out |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | Get them in and make mine a half |