| 00:00 - 00:03 | Charlotte intends to buy a lot of cheese |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | She will buy it online |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | From far away places like Berlin |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | Although Berlin does not make good cheese. |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | She intends to spend over 40 pounds on cheese |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | She will not spend that |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | As it is too much to spend on cheese |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | My Failüre |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | Steiner... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | Steiner reports that Charlotte spent 48 pounds |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | Buying cheese for christmas |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | All those who like cheese, please leave |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | What the fucking hell! |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | 48 pounds is fucking ridiculous! |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | Sure she might eat it, it might be nice cheese but it is a waste of fucking money |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | And she'll have to remortgage the house |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | Just to buy the crackers for it! |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | What was she thinking? |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | Spending all that money on cheese |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | It won't even be cheddar |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | But sir there are other nice cheeses |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | Like what?! Fucking Wensleydale or Smelly Brie? Don't make me laugh. |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | She might have got Camembert |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | I fucking hate Camembert! |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | It's crap cheese. |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | I accept that it's Christmas time |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | But she could spend money on normal things like wine |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | Not fucking fancy fromage that'll go off in the fridge |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | She could have even bought Gin. Prosecco would be a better choice! |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | But no she spent it on cursed curdled milk that will not get fucking eaten through christmas |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | It will go mouldy and smell out the fucking fridge! |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | These cheeses smell so bad I swear they could be used as chemical weapons by Stalin! |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | All I ask for |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | Is some decent chocolates, some decent beer, crisps... |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | Anything but bloody cheese |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | Christmas is ruined! |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | Every day will be cheese for breakfast, lunch and dinner |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | I'll be forced to eat that horrid blue stuff that makes me gag. |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | I might as well be a bloody mouse! |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | We'll be stuck for weeks trying to get through it all |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | It will be a bloody nightmare! |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | Don't worry. We have plenty of cheese at home. |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | I feared this would happen |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | The internet allows you to buy many things |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | Charlotte's obsessed. |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | It was always going to end this way |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | I blame myself for not seeing it coming sooner. Although there is nothing I could do to stop her. |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | She has access to all the credit cards damn it! |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | I hope she gets some emmental. |
