| 00:00 - 00:03 | We've had a breach on the internal network... |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | it was a phishing attack: |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | they dropped an infected USB stick here |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | and a pwnie plug in the CCTV system here, where Franco |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | tried to watch the video "10 Security Fails! You won't believe what happened next!" |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | CCTV? |
| 00:19 - 00:22 | The IP CCTV that was the "answer to everything"? Most of our security budget? |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Well, the budget... |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | the budget... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | The budget wasn't all spent on cameras... |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | we also bought some anti-virus from PC World. It was on special offer. |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Clearly we have an issue here. Mitnick, Street, Valaseck - you stay here. Everyone else, go and tidy the cables in the frame room. That patch bay is a disgrace. |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | A fucking phishing attack? |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | Are you fucking kidding? Last week Chris & Charlie are all up in my Jeep |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | and now it's a fucking USB stick? What happened to security awareness training? |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | I suppose you blew that budget on Netfix & Chill!! |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | even the cleaning lady knows not to pick up random shiny! |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | You're so busy posting on Facebook and watching cat videos |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | you don't even notice the fucking Chinese backdooring your iphone |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | and installing proxies on your network printer! |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | It wasn't a proxy, it was an 0day! We only lost some cat vid... |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | It was the best cat video! We hadn't released it yet! That video was 100k likes easy! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | I will make another! It will be just as good! |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | Another one? You'll never make another one like that! You can't just "make" a cat video! |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | They have to do something spontaneous! |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | Walk like a Ninja! Hang from a rooftile! |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | Fall off a fucking sofa! |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | That kind of shit doesn't just happen! |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | Shoving Eva's cat in that bin was great, sure, but.. |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | when was he last time your cat did something cute? |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | Posters with captions which are funny because they're true don't make themselves! |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | You think lolcat got where he is today by having his videos nicked by some Sheldon in his mum's basement, listening to CD rips? |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | Those wankers couldn't analyse a binary if it shat in their ear. |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | 0day my arse! They used a fucking metasploit plugin! |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | They pwned you via MS Word! |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | $24m in a secret FBI fund, FFS! |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | What kind of moron think a fucking Arab prince is going to approach them to help launder 24 million dollars? |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | Like he needs you and your pathetic fatherland bank account to ship money "overseas"? |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | and what would you spend it on anyway? |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | A weekend in Vegas and you think you'll be clued up cos you went to DEFCON? |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | You still posted them my infos! |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | Crap! Didn't you use his dog's name on that Facebook quiz? The 10 stupidest things your boss did? |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | Nobody could have known my secret answer! |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | Who calls their fucking dog Blondi? |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | Well, I guess that's 24 million up in smoke. |
| 03:31 - 03:37 | We'll just chalk that one up to experience. |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | BTW, did you repond to that attorney guy yet? He's trying to get hold of me because some relative died. |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | We'll have to do it in Eva's name as my account's been compromised... |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | You've got her bank details... |
