Launchpad Wars
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9/9/2026pump.fun finds out that stonkfun.xyz is printing millions in fees while the flywheel buys and burns $STONK, burns the top ecosystem tokens, and pays rewards to holders.
the launchpad wars have escalated.
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| 00:00 - 00:03 | STONKfun has already crossed $1.2 billion in trading volume... |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | and it keeps growing. |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | The STONK meta is taking over Crypto Twitter |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | More projects are launching there and the revenue keeps climbing. |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | And crypto twitter won't shut up about it. |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | It doesn't matter. |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | They'll come back to PUMP. |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | My Fuhrer... |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | there's more. |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | Solana's official account tweeted... |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | "We Stand Behind Stonk Tokens." |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Anyone receiving STONK rewards leave the room now. |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | THEY'VE DONE $1.2 BILLION IN VOLUME?! |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | AND THEY'RE PAYING THE FUCKING HOLDERS?! |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | WE BUILD HE BIGGEST MEMECOIN CASINO ON SOLANA! |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | WE HAVE MILLIONS OF USERS! |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | WE BUILT PUMPSWAP! |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | WE INVENTED THE FUCKING TRENCHES! |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | WE EVEN BUY BACK $PUMP! |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | AND THESE FUCKERS FOUND A BETTER FLYWHEEL?! |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | Sir, pump still makes more revenue. |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | FOR NOW! THEY'RE COMING FOR OUR GOLDEN GOOSE! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | But sir, we buy back and burn $PUMP too |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | THEY'RE BUYING BACK THE WHOLE FUCKING ECOSYSTEM! |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | EVERY FEW MINUTES!?! |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | UNBELIEVABLE. |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | WE TAUGHT SOLANA HOW TO HYPER GAMBLE! |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | BUNDLED RUGS. ENDLESS INSIDER PUMP & DUMPS |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | WE PRINTED FORTUNES FROM PEOPLE LAUNCHING ABSOLUTE GARBAGE! |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | AND FINANCIALLY RUINED THOUSANDS OF DEGENERATES! |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | WE SPENT TWO YEARS BLEEDING THE TRENCHES DRY |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | THEN THESE FUCKERS COME IN HERE AND PAY HODLERS $21 MILLION?? |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | And then... |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | they're buying and burning the top ecosystem tokens too? |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | Of course they are. |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | Goddamn brilliant. |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | THEY TURNED EVERY LAUNCH INTO BUY PRESSURE FOR $STONK! |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | THE MORE THESE DEGENERATES TRADE, THE STRONGER THE FLYWHEEL GETS. |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | MORE VOLUME MEANS MORE FEES. |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | MORE FEES MEANS MORE FUCKING $STONK BUY BACKS! |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | MORE BUY BACKS! MORE BURNS! LESS FUCKING SUPPLY! |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | Don't worry. $KNOTS pays us in $STONK. We'll be fine. |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | And what do we get? |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | The fucking degenerates asking us... |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | "wen airdrop" |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | Every. Fucking. Day. |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | We made a fortune off these fucking degenerates |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | and promised them an airdrop. |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | Maybe we should've fucking sent it. |