COBRA Meeting

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1 views8/16/2026
Pastiche of the recent COBRA Meeting about the wildfire risk in the UK.

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00:00 - 00:03Welcome to this COBRA Meeting
00:04 - 00:05What's it about?
00:05 - 00:07There are fires here and here
00:08 - 00:12Isn't that where immigrants are landing?
00:12 - 00:15Well it might be.
00:17 - 00:19Forget immigration
00:19 - 00:21It's about fire
00:24 - 00:26Andy
00:27 - 00:28But ...
00:31 - 00:33People are more worried by immigration
00:34 - 00:36Nothing we can do
00:53 - 00:58Anti-immigrants leave the room
01:13 - 01:15Be seen to do something.
01:15 - 01:17Lawyers cannot attack our anti-fire policy
01:18 - 01:23A simple gesture
01:25 - 01:28He never listens
01:29 - 01:31No immigrants near us - that's enough
01:31 - 01:34Fire is an easy target
01:34 - 01:37Just one idea that makes us appear competent.
01:37 - 01:40What about an alert
01:40 - 01:42It will just annoy people
01:42 - 01:46So fecking what
01:46 - 01:48It'll make nothing better
01:48 - 01:52I'm not PM to make things better
01:53 - 01:54Just do it
01:56 - 01:57They'll think we care
01:57 - 02:00Because we banned barbeques
02:00 - 02:03No one will listen
02:04 - 02:08We will have done something
02:08 - 02:13That's all that matters
02:14 - 02:16It matters not that it's useless
02:17 - 02:21We can blame fecking climate change
02:27 - 02:29Even the liberals will fall for it
02:30 - 02:34We'll win back the green vote
02:34 - 02:36Set up a professorship
02:41 - 02:42I'll write the reference
02:43 - 02:47We tell them what to believe
02:48 - 02:53Forget immigration just ban barbeques
02:54 - 02:56We are the party of action
02:56 - 02:59We send messages in Welsh
03:00 - 03:02They will all love us
03:04 - 03:07It's OK you'll get the message
03:14 - 03:16Everyone will be grateful
03:19 - 03:23It must be sent from Manchester
03:25 - 03:26Devolution
03:31 - 03:33I am the leader
03:40 - 03:46I have solved fires
03:46 - 03:49Just a message
03:53 - 03:56And all is well.