JJ wants to do the Saudi Hawks

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5 views8/7/2026
Tensions are running high at VAUK Saudi Hawks HQ. JJ has assembled what he believes should be an elite formation team. Unfortunately, Paul lives permanently in VR, Ben communicates several sentences behind everyone else, Curt refuses to join, and Jayden definitely doesn’t want to fly. Thankfully, Dan exists. A completely serious insight into the challenges of virtual formation flying.

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00:00 - 00:03Last night's Saudi Hawks rehearsal didn't go entirely to plan.
00:04 - 00:05Dan was in position.
00:05 - 00:07Paul was flying in VR.
00:08 - 00:12Ben was communicating through his phone.
00:12 - 00:15But overall, the formation was holding together.
00:17 - 00:19Good. Dan can sort out the remaining problems.
00:19 - 00:21We'll be ready for the display.
00:24 - 00:26JJ...
00:27 - 00:28The problem isn't the aircraft.
00:31 - 00:33Curt has refused to join the team.
00:34 - 00:36And Jayden says he doesn't want to fly either.
00:53 - 00:58Everyone leave except Dan, Paul and Ben.
01:13 - 01:15WHAT DO YOU MEAN THEY DON'T WANT TO FLY!?
01:15 - 01:17IT'S THE FUCKING SAUDI HAWKS!
01:18 - 01:23WE HAVE JETS! SMOKE! FORMATION AEROBATICS!
01:25 - 01:28And somehow I am surrounded by fucking idiots!
01:29 - 01:31Dan is the only competent person here!
01:31 - 01:34He built the fucking mod we're flying!
01:34 - 01:37If something breaks, Dan fixes it!
01:37 - 01:40Meanwhile Paul can't see because he's wearing a fucking television!
01:40 - 01:42JJ, VR gives him much better depth perception—
01:42 - 01:46HE FLEW INTO ME!
01:46 - 01:48It was only once...
01:48 - 01:52THEN HE STARTED SINGING FUCKING PEPTO-BISMOL!
01:53 - 01:54We're in the middle of a formation change...
01:56 - 01:57and suddenly—
01:57 - 02:00"NAUSEA, HEARTBURN..."
02:00 - 02:03"INDIGESTION, UPSET STOMACH..."
02:04 - 02:08"DIARRHOEA!"
02:08 - 02:13I'M TRYING TO LEAD THE FUCKING SAUDI HAWKS!
02:14 - 02:16And Ben is even worse.
02:17 - 02:21You ask him a question. Nothing.
02:27 - 02:29Five sentences later...
02:30 - 02:34..."yeah."
02:34 - 02:36YEAH WHAT, BEN!?
02:41 - 02:42NOBODY FUCKING REMEMBERS THE QUESTION!
02:43 - 02:47He refuses to speak through Discord like a normal person!
02:48 - 02:53He talks to us through his fucking phone!
02:54 - 02:56By the time it reaches us...
02:56 - 02:59...we've flown three more manoeuvres!
03:00 - 03:02I'M FLYING FORMATION WITH INTERNET EXPLORER!
03:04 - 03:07Don't cry Jayden. He'a like this with everyone...
03:14 - 03:16Curt says he doesn't want to be involved.
03:19 - 03:23Fine. I don't need him.
03:25 - 03:26Jayden says exactly the same thing.
03:31 - 03:33But Jayden keeps asking about the formation.
03:40 - 03:46He knows the positions. He knows the routine.
03:46 - 03:49He has the aircraft installed.
03:53 - 03:56The cunt obviously wants to fly.