Fantasy Outlook

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2 views7/11/2026
Fantasy meltdown 2026 after a few hard years of unpredictability

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00:00 - 00:03Alright Dan, it's fantasy draft 2026
00:04 - 00:05Do another online draft. Some guys will be on shift
00:05 - 00:07but they'll be able to log on from around the city
00:08 - 00:12Szeto will clearly be autodrafting, so draft day and time won't matter to him.
00:12 - 00:15Put some dates out around YOUR schedule so you can draft uninterrupted from home.
00:17 - 00:19No. I'll accomodate everyone else
00:19 - 00:21I know every player in the NFL. The advantage is already mine.
00:24 - 00:26...But dan..
00:27 - 00:28...you haven't...
00:31 - 00:33..despite your knowledge.. you haven't won a fantasy league in years
00:34 - 00:36Most recent winners have been dib and loebach, amongst others..
00:53 - 00:58...everybody OUT... except CBS Sports, rotowire, and Valenti from 97.1..
01:13 - 01:15Do you have any idea how much time i dedicate to listening to your shit!?!
01:15 - 01:17How am i supposed to uphold fantasy integrity with this record!?!
01:18 - 01:23A guy who doesn't make transactions is always a contender!
01:25 - 01:28Along with Sloan! The guy's a fucking Dolphins fan!!
01:29 - 01:31Aaron hernandez is dead and manziel is drunk in a bar in tijuana..
01:31 - 01:34..but if loebach drafts them they'll still have 1000 point seasons!!
01:34 - 01:37Didn't dib draft from Lebanon last year??!
01:37 - 01:40He draft with his phone in one hand and an AK in the other?!!
01:40 - 01:42But Dan! You tile too much to...
01:42 - 01:46Shut the fuck up! Tiles don't bust as often as your picks!!
01:46 - 01:48But you're also USAR and the station 5 board guy and...
01:48 - 01:52USAR IS ELITE! UNLIKE THESE FANTASY DONKEYS!!!
01:53 - 01:54SOMEBODY GET ME A MONSTER!!
01:56 - 01:57And it better be a white monster!
01:57 - 02:00Not one of those bullshit peach flavors...
02:00 - 02:03Or i'll make a shiv out of some imported italian porcelain!
02:04 - 02:08Somebody will catch that TD in the ass for 6, believe that!
02:08 - 02:13I'm losing football games to fucking baseball players!
02:14 - 02:16I kicked easby out of the league..
02:17 - 02:21..but even he has a better shot at winning with this shit you feed me!
02:27 - 02:29What the fuck happened to my game?!?
02:30 - 02:34'SLIM' used to mean something... people feared drafting around me..
02:34 - 02:36..now it just means 'slim' chance of victory..
02:41 - 02:42...i asked for a monster...
02:43 - 02:47WHERE THE FUCK IS MY WHITE MONSTER?!?!
02:48 - 02:53I always cook at the firehall...
02:54 - 02:56Why the fuck do you deprive me of cooking on gameday!?!
02:56 - 02:59Kreib has one knee and he's sprinting past me to the finish line!
03:00 - 03:02Jets fans are losers! But they have a better chance at a super bowl!
03:04 - 03:07Walms to kirky: it's okay it's okay.. WE GOT GENO BACK. It's our year..
03:14 - 03:16I hate Palumbo.. he's a curse..
03:19 - 03:23He ruins more careers than astro-turf...
03:25 - 03:26..but somehow pushes for playoffs...
03:31 - 03:33Ross is old, but goddamn it, I'm washed up.
03:40 - 03:46Davie's bears have eaten my Lion-heart.. so if I don't get better advice from you guys, I'm
03:46 - 03:49handing control to the part time gm Devries, going into the bunker, and putting a bullet in my brain
03:53 - 03:56...i'm still waiting for my white monster..