Nigel plans his public life

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49 views7/8/2026
Nigel Farage plans his election as MP to Clacton after resigning.

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00:00 - 00:03Nigel, we've moved your crypto
00:04 - 00:05From here to here
00:05 - 00:07and then to here
00:08 - 00:12nobody will trace it now
00:12 - 00:15it's hidden away
00:17 - 00:19I like how I get a ATM card
00:19 - 00:21with Nectar points as well
00:24 - 00:26Nigel
00:27 - 00:28but
00:31 - 00:33Nigel, there's a problem
00:34 - 00:36we lost your cheque book
00:53 - 00:58Everyone leave apart from Jenrick, Tice, Yousef and Braverman
01:13 - 01:15YOU LOST MY CHEQUE BOOK?
01:15 - 01:17Are you morons?
01:18 - 01:23It has all my expenses in there!
01:25 - 01:28and my secret EU investments
01:29 - 01:31Don't worry. He won't move to Clacton
01:31 - 01:34I trusted you to keep this quiet.
01:34 - 01:37What next? Publishing my Amazon basket?
01:37 - 01:40I must order with discreet packaging.
01:40 - 01:42But Nigel, nobody uses cheques.
01:42 - 01:46My voters do!
01:46 - 01:48It's all chip and pin.
01:48 - 01:52Not for the over 65's!
01:53 - 01:54What next?
01:56 - 01:57My Reddit account published?
01:57 - 02:00How I like to troll the lefties?
02:00 - 02:03You know how Murdoch will use this.
02:04 - 02:08He's still got the polaroids.
02:08 - 02:13It was one sheep! ONE!!!!
02:14 - 02:16I was young!
02:17 - 02:21You don't know the pressure I'm under.
02:27 - 02:29I can't rely on Donald
02:30 - 02:34Even Elon's turned against me
02:34 - 02:36I have to find my own solution
02:41 - 02:42Some con trick
02:43 - 02:47Something the gullible will suck up
02:48 - 02:53It's got to be quick
02:54 - 02:56I know
02:56 - 02:59I'll resign as a MP
03:00 - 03:02Clacton's a shithole anyway
03:04 - 03:07Honest, you won't have to live there!
03:14 - 03:16I'll resign.
03:19 - 03:23Then I'll claim victory
03:25 - 03:26then
03:31 - 03:33when I'm re-elected
03:40 - 03:46I just have to hope
03:46 - 03:49that Count Binface
03:53 - 03:56doesn't stand against me.