Platner Suspends his Campaign

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30 views7/9/2026
Real time footage from the Platner Campaign bunker. (Parody)

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00:00 - 00:03The Sex Assault denial is failing
00:04 - 00:05They aren't buying lies
00:05 - 00:07New media is digging Tinder
00:08 - 00:12Your tattoo was the key
00:12 - 00:15They will find black book
00:17 - 00:19Bernie hid the list
00:19 - 00:21He'll claims it's Kavanough
00:24 - 00:26Platner
00:27 - 00:28Sanders
00:31 - 00:33Sanders has pulled support
00:34 - 00:36Soros & Democrat Leaders also
00:53 - 00:58Chin, Warren, Acosta, Jeffries stay
01:13 - 01:15I left oyster farm for this?!
01:15 - 01:17I could be sucking parents money
01:18 - 01:23Messing on Tinder, Kik only way i could get it on
01:25 - 01:28Those on there were easy
01:29 - 01:31Now I have no drive
01:31 - 01:34I canceled my For Hims for nothing!
01:34 - 01:37They promised endless grift and intern sex
01:37 - 01:40Now all i have is clams
01:40 - 01:42But no STD risk!
01:42 - 01:46Do I care?! I wanted rough fun
01:46 - 01:48Sir the people oppose this
01:48 - 01:52People of Maine are fools
01:53 - 01:54I had perfect shot!
01:56 - 01:57Team with DSA, Mamdani
01:57 - 02:00All that collective money
02:00 - 02:03We would screw the North East!
02:04 - 02:08The blue hair freaks would submit
02:08 - 02:13and submit to my needs
02:14 - 02:16I could clam where no clam before
02:17 - 02:21Power greater than Stalin
02:27 - 02:29Clinton would be jealous
02:30 - 02:34Think the money i could steal
02:34 - 02:36Newsom's diapers be cheap
02:41 - 02:42Endless money
02:43 - 02:47All of that power is gone
02:48 - 02:53Because we couldn't pin the
02:54 - 02:56symbol of hate on Musk
02:56 - 02:59All the fake German lessons
03:00 - 03:02All the public money is gone!
03:04 - 03:07Its ok his parents will pay his bills
03:14 - 03:16We had the perfect lie
03:19 - 03:23but those cowboy MAGA kept lookin
03:25 - 03:26Its time
03:31 - 03:33to end the lies
03:40 - 03:46but need to go up on top
03:46 - 03:49Suspend the campaign
03:53 - 03:56At least I have MSNow work