The Sash
51 views4/2/2026
The story of a raceday heist. The Albury Boys only had one job and they couldn't even do that.
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| 00:00 - 00:03 | This is the Randwick racecourse map. |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | Villasaurus jumped cleanly |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | and settled just off the speed. |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | At the 400 … he peeled to the outside. |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | Strong sectionals. He won convincingly. |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | And the presentation? The sash. |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | Show me the sash. |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Mein Fuhrer. |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | The sash ... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | The sash was brought out immediately. |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | There was a commotion. Ralph stole the sash. |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | These men stay here. Pez, Faz, Coz, Divorcees. |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | The fat lying cop took my sash! |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | After everything I’ve done for this syndicate! |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | Villasaurus did his job! Donna did her job! |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | The race went exactly to plan! |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | And you idiots let the Fat Lying Cop |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | take my sash . And what do I get in return? |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | I put this syndicate together! |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | From nothing! You imbeciles! |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | Mein Fuhrer, I think you've forgotten that I do the books. |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | The books!! Cozzie you couldn't count to ten FFS! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | Mein Fuhrer, I am a registered chartered accountant. |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | Get a grip. You're a retiree addicted to the panlickers and hot chips. |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | Imbecile! |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | It’s like herding cats! |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | Every week ... someone's asking me stupid questions ... |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | What barrier are we in? What colour is our horse? |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | I organise everything! The form! The entries! The strategy! I carry this entire operation! |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | And when it finally matters ... when everything works - the horse wins! |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | You allow Ralph to steal my sash! |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | You only had ONE job! One job! And you idjits couldn't even do that! |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | Not one of you could hold this shitshow together. |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | Only me. Your beloved leader. |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | I just needed one more sash to complete my collection |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | Now the fat lying cop has it. |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | He’ll hang it on his back deck next to that ridiculous BBQ. |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | Like he earned it. Like he deserves it more than me. |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | I bet you he's already posted it on facebook. |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | Grinning beneath the sash like a Cheshire Cat. |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | That insufferable orange nut is gloating |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | It's ok, Anna. Ralph can take care of himself. |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | It would already have likes. |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | Probably hundreds of them. |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | All his friends and family congratulating him. |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | I hope none of you have liked his post. |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | There's only one thing left to do at times like this, when we are at our lowest ... |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | ... we need to take revenge on the fat lying cop. |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | Can we get some hot chips, first? |