| 00:00 - 00:03 | Alright, sir. |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | The Cat 4/5 crit |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | is this Sunday. |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | I’ve mapped out the |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | Route 1 Velo lead-train. |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | We’ll hold 28mph on |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | the backstretch and have Mijo sprint. |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Mein Führer... |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | Shit. |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | Mijo will not race at all. |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | He just shitposts. |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | What do you mean? Everyone leave the room. Except for Mijo, David, and Jones. |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | WHAT DO YOU MEAN |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | SHITPOSTING?! I check |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | my phone and it’s just 400 unread |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | gifs about cheese and shit! |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | David! It’s 55 degrees |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | outside and he is still on |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | the couch! And Mijo... |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | You kit up! We need you in the race! |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | Buford told me to do group rides! |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | You sprint for the stupid 295 KOM segment! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | It is not stupid! |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | and then you sit in the back |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | like a passenger for |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | the next 40 miles! |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | I’m out there pulling |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | against a headwind while |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | you’re checking your Telegram! |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | And Jones! You’re a Cat 1 |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | You have the power of a god |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | yet your veins are 90% Mountain Dew Code Red |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | How have you never |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | broken a collarbone? I broke a few! |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | It’s a rite of passage! |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | You just drink neon |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | soda. McGill also posts pictures of portapotty |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | While I'm trying to talk about |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | cornering technique! |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | We don't even have a strategy |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | Our "strategy" is just meeting at TCM |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | (crying). A tire tube is now $12. |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | The local pros think we’re |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | a serious club. They have no idea it is |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | just a digital asylum |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | for people who hate climbing. |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | Pete... Please clean and lube your chain. It needs love. |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | It squeaks that Chris K can hear. |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | Shit. |
