| 00:00 - 00:03 | Our far-leftwing gathering will be held at |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | The gay village |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | At cottagers cove along the canal |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | We expect the place to stink of gay sex & piss |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | But plenty of parking for staff |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | We can announce black history month |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | And new buzz learns |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | The intranet sir |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | The intranet.. |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | Sir, the intranet is down and 70% of the workforce |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | Have already booked the day off |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | I only want staff to attend our conference voluntary |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | This is why i say "mandatory" |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | Because no fucker will attend ! |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | I expect every fucker to book the day off ! |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | Rather than hear me blow smoke up my own arse |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | I might aswell chew the grass |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | Off Eccles New Road |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | And tell jokes with the Iranians on the precinct |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | Because no one is interested in our conference |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | Sir, we could offer vegan food |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | We could offer gold and they wouldn't come !! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | But sir, vegan food is a box ticker |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | So is black history month and Ramadan |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | But they show no interest |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | I hope their unions |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | Only accept a 0.5% pay rise this year ! |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | That'll show them ! |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | Next year their tools are all going electric |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | And they will be forced to wear rainbow uniforms |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | With LGBT+ across their backs |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | You watch, i'll drown them all with diversity |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | I'll reorganise their sweep ups |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | They wont know whats hit them |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | I'll have them doing buzz learns |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | On shariah law, Palestine |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | and they'll embrace it |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | I gave them a £10 gift voucher at Christmas |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | And they still moaned |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | That could've gone towards free pizzas at diamond house |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | Or cards for staff to compliment each other |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | Dont worry, you'll still get pizza |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | Can you phone the Lowery |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | And cancel the conference for next Friday |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | Tell them |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | That due to climate change |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | We're unable to attend and will rebook another time |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | You might aswell work from home |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | For thevrest of the week |
