| 00:00 - 00:03 | First we have defensive failures |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | and damned interceptions |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | we're trying to get the touchdown |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | But their specials are good |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | And the wind is against us |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | Just go around their tight ends dumbass |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | Coach, half time is starting |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Half time... |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | there is a disturbance |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | His name is Bad Bunny |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | and Kid rock is out of licenses |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | TP USA, Loomer, Elon, stay here |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | I wanted gold posted everywhere |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | and AI ads generating billions |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | I don't give a shit about football |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | Just get the damn ads out |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | What do you mean HTTP 503 |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | You can't even run a space company |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | These godamn epstein files |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | You had one job to bury the story |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | We can't compete Mr President |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | I don't care! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | My President! We're scared! |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | I don't give a shit! Run the ads! |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | You can't even stop the dudes grinding! |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | These ads are shit! |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | You think the youths will enlist now? |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | There's more unity in Bunny's performance than your morning shit! |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | I had a damn dream, just like that other guy, but you all think im crazy! |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | I just wanted a triumph arc made of gold! And a birthday parade! |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | But you fucked that up too! |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | Now Bluesky is lit up with even more unity than ever |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | Good fucking job dumbasses |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | It's supposed to all be about me! |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | Making America the best! the greatest! |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | Godamn little piggy reporters! |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | And the autoworker calling me pedo! |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | Hitting Epstein was supposed to be the end! |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | But no, you couldn't do that right either! |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | Why do I even have people for shit? |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | Putin's windows does more work in a week than you do in a year! |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | <Sister: He's finally getting consequences> |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | This is some bullshit, where do we go from here |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | Surrounded by court orders, subpoenas |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | And the damn Canadians in Greenland |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | You remember Canadians |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | With their poutine and hockey sticks |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | I have to do everything myself it seems |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | send in Miller. Godamn bobblehead. |
