| 00:00 - 00:03 | The fuhrer's birthday party has been moved to the most western part of West Berlin |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | Roads secured |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | Make sure Bozo the Clown has access |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | Hobo Kelly couldn't make it |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | Star Trek cast confirmed to attend |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | All but Shatner & Nimoy right? |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | Because those guys have other plans Friday night |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | My fuhrer |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | Steiner |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | Steiner made it a double party -- you and Sulu born the same day |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | Hasselhoff can't attend |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Harvey Keitel makes me yodel, if you're uncomfortable leave the room -NOW |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | I can't believe Sulu and I share an April 20 birthday?! |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | Who knew Sulu was like Ernst Rohm? |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | Do you think Sulu ever kissed Kirk? |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | Maybe off-camera |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | Greta I'm so wet |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | But Dr. McCoy is certainly attending, a man of science & sincerity...SS! |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | This Neal Degrasse Tyson he's a scientist but he tries to be a comedian |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | His humor falls flat |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | Flat as a stack of Denny's pancakes |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | What about International House of Pancakes, Dumkopf!? |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | That too my Fuhrer, I apologize |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | American food makes me sick to my stomach |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | Applebees,,.Bennigan's...BJ's. |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | Sonic Burgers |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | The minute they ended that buddies ad campaign |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | It was over...but still..Burger King bs remains |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | I respect In N Out |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | but the lines...the lines are so long. You sit in your Volkswagen |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | Your back tires on the road |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | Your front tires in the parking lot. That's all i need is my engine to stall! |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | Hasselhoff got drunk ...was eating burgers off the floor |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | What id do for Hasselhoff to attend my party. I've heard they changed his name from Adolf to David |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | Napoleon and I have the same birthday |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | His hand hides in his waistcoat |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | Meanwhile my hands wave frantically |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | In all my speeches my hands, frantic, moving around like Bernie Sanders' hands |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | I pleaded with the doctors to make it stop |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | GIve me a pill, an elixir, a gummy bear, anything |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | But no...they said my hands waving frantically added to the drama of the rallies |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | Does David Hasselhoff turn you on, Greta? |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | I guess it's true after all |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | Milli Vanilli lip synced |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | So sad |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | What really hurts is Mel Brooks making fun of me |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | Although he was quite thoughtful imaginging me skating on ice in uniform |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | But I'm sure he was thinking it was 'thin ice',, |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | Who needs a Zamboni? |
