| 00:00 - 00:04 | So the boss messages the group, "Hey! Everyone in the Teams meeting." |
| 00:04 - 00:07 | "Come on, I have big news to share. Let's go!" |
| 00:07 - 00:10 | I thought, "This better be good." No joke. |
| 00:10 - 00:15 | I'm so busy managing tons of pursuits that I often work on an empty stomach. |
| 00:17 - 00:20 | He says we're using an emoji-based status system. |
| 00:21 - 00:22 | Emojis!! |
| 00:30 - 00:31 | Emojis!! |
| 00:31 - 00:35 | He actually emailed the whole team to announce the official launch! |
| 00:38 - 00:39 | Emojis!! |
| 00:41 - 00:45 | I learned that two days before, he hosted a 45-minute session |
| 00:45 - 00:48 | to discuss the pros and cons of different emojis. |
| 00:48 - 00:51 | In that meeting, someone raised their hand and said, |
| 00:51 - 00:55 | "We should use a turtle emoji when things are slow." |
| 00:58 - 01:00 | The boss said, "I love it!" |
| 01:00 - 01:02 | "And a bee for when you're busy!" |
| 01:04 - 01:07 | "Let's add fire as the third option." |
| 01:07 - 01:08 | "That's the perfect combo!" |
| 01:13 - 01:14 | Emojis!! |
| 01:14 - 01:19 | He wrote definitions of each one! And gave us example posts, too! |
| 01:21 - 01:27 | He said, "Let's do this every day! Every day! All 17 of us!" |
| 01:33 - 01:37 | Unreal. So one day, I said, "Here's my emoji status, boss." |
| 01:39 - 01:42 | He looks confused, then get serious, and says, |
| 01:42 - 01:47 | "I'm glad you're here. Your emoji statuses have been frustrating." |
| 01:47 - 01:49 | "It's like you didn't hear what I said." |
| 01:51 - 01:53 | "You can't make up your own definitions." |
| 01:55 - 01:58 | "That's my job. You cannot disrupt the system." |
| 01:58 - 02:02 | "Full stop. Get rid of the rainbows. And the eggplants." |
| 02:05 - 02:06 | Emojis!! |
| 02:09 - 02:12 | He said, "I'm trying–", "I'm trying–" |
| 02:15 - 02:17 | "I am trying to run a business." |
| 02:17 - 02:20 | "You need to take this system more seriously." |
| 02:22 - 02:24 | You could tell I hurt his feelings. |
| 02:24 - 02:28 | He was so proud of his emoji system, even more than the old one. |
| 02:29 - 02:30 | The colored dots? |
| 02:30 - 02:32 | Yes, the colored dots! |
| 02:37 - 02:40 | It's a completely unnecessary solution |
| 02:40 - 02:41 | to a non-existent problem. |
| 02:51 - 02:54 | Not to mention the pages in Microsoft Loop. |
| 02:57 - 02:58 | What does he want in Loop? |
| 02:58 - 03:01 | He expects us to add pursuit assets, |
| 03:01 - 03:03 | next steps, and key contacts. |
| 03:03 - 03:05 | It's already in Salesforce. |
| 03:05 - 03:08 | It's busy work that he thinks adds value. |
| 03:09 - 03:11 | But it's a complete waste of time. |
| 03:17 - 03:19 | So what's your emoji status? |
| 03:24 - 03:26 | Are you turtle, bee, or fire? |
| 03:31 - 03:35 | Who ever heard of a VP who uses an emoji status system? |
