| 00:00 - 00:03 | Colonel Passador, everything is now in order for Chubbs 25 |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | Saturday will be at St Andrews, |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | and Sunday will be at the Dunes. |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | We will be dining and sleeping at the Dunes complex, |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | then get poleaxed on Saturday arvo at the Sorrento Hotel. |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | I hear that I am sharing |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | with Two Bags in the Presidential Suite. |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Colonel... |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | Two Bags... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | Two Bags completely fucked up the accommodation booking, |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | you'll be sharing a fold-out with Bazeme. |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | All non-members of the Moorabbin Airport Golf Club, get out. |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | What the fuck is this? |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | We know that no man can survive a night with Bazeme. |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | Let alone after 20 pots and a bottle of red in the same fucking bed! |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | I'll need military grade ear muffs |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | and a huge fucking oxygen tank. |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | I don't even know where I would buy that shit now. |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | Even a Vic Labor voter can see this is an act of corruption |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | to stop me from winning my fifth title in dominant fashion! |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | It was an honest mistake by Two Bags, he's merely snap hooked this one. |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | It's more like a fucking air shot with his pants around his ankles. |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | Colonel, Two Bags no longer drops his pants for anyone. |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | Well, whatever it is, he's cost me the fucking title! |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | It's every man's worst nightmare! |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | You bunch of jealous bastards, |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | you just want the Englishman to remain at the top |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | while I suffocate in a barrage of toxic fumes. |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | God help me if bloody Apted decides to storm in at 4am |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | stinking of cheap perfume while he lights up one of those big fat Cubans! |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | Our apartment will quickly resemble Hiroshima. |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | And hours later I'll be on the first tee looking like Kirk Lazarus! |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | Even I'm not great enough to overcome this. |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | I'm in the form of my life, just registered 42 points |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | and this was my title to take. |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | Fucking Bazeme |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | If that prick has more than 5 pots with a red wine chaser, I'll strangle him. |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | As for Apted, he better give me a wide berth after midnight. |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | Why aren't I rooming with Collo? |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | At least then I only have to deal with the smell of fake tan. |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | Instead, I'll wake up swimming in Italian pubes! |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | It's good, he now can't get a root. |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | Godly could have anesthetised me, |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | but the useless prick had to snap his achilles and withdraw. |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | I'm fucked. |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | The title is gone. |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | If I find out this wasn't an honest mistake, someone here is going to lose a limb. |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | And it won't be an arm or a leg, karnts... |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | Even for me this is impossible. |
