The Führer vs. Portland
96 views9/30/2025
The President orders the full force of the US military to counter the national security threats of Portland, Oregon.
0 Comments
Be the first to leave a comment.
▸Show captions (49)
| 00:00 - 00:03 | Mr. President, we are sending troops |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | to Portland here & here. |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | to stay in the donut district |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | and by the cat cafe. |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | It's much easier to get around than DC. |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | We must be careful: parking |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | downtown is a little pricey. |
| 00:24 - 00:28 | Mr. President, Steiner... |
| 00:28 - 00:29 | Steiner was caught in Portland at a four-way stop. |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | All four drivers waved the other cars ahead |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | and he has not been able to leave. |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Noem, Miller, and Hegseth stay. Everybody else out like Kristi's dog. |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | We need the full force of the US military! |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | Mask-wearing hippies are the |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | most dangerous kind! |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | >shniff< |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | I know how things happen in Portland. |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | I was there once! |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | Everyone wore helmets at the community bike ride |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | and not one of them had a steel spike on top! |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | Mr. President, the population seems preoccupied with tiny house blogs and Subarus... |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | It was fresh hop season but the bar |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | ... and pickling vegetables... |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | It was fresh hop season but the bar |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | at the food cart pod only had |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | sour marionberry gose! |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | At the airport I got side-eye |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | from Caesar, the No Drama Llama! |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | My friend said to meet at the ramen and fried chicken place |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | but I was waiting down the block |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | at the sushi and fried chicken place! |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | My electric scooter said it could go 9 miles |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | but I thought it said, "nein." |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | Nein! Nein! |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | It's very walk-able, I'll give it that. |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | The sports bars show women's sports. |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | And the women's soccer sells out before the men! |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | The Unipiper would not play my request |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | when I asked for Ride of the Valkyries |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | even though he was wearing a Darth Vader mask. |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | He wouldn't even get off his unicycle! |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | The dream of the '90's must be alive there. |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | My ice cream had turkey and stuffing in it |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | even though I requested |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | cheddar cheese and apple pie. |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | and the cone cost $17 extra. |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | There were hundreds of trains |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | at the model train show but all the tiny doors |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | could open from the inside. |