| 00:00 - 00:03 | It's been reported that Jack Edward Morris aka 'The Smooth Operator' |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | has contacted his former colleague Bex Balchin |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | who lives close-by in Charlwood. |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | He messaged her saying he used to have a crush on her, |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | and he lives a 15 minute drive away from her in Smallfield. |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | She won't take him seriously, |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | they worked together 8 years ago. |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | My Fuhrer... |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | She admitted... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | She admitted she had a crush on him too and far worse. |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | 6 weeks ago they went on a 'non-date'. |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Leave the room now if you are; handsome, ski black runs, can moonwalk, or play bass. |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | WHAT THE FUCK IS A 'NON-DATE?!' |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | HE WILL HAVE MADE A MOVE ON HER! |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | HOW DID HE KNOW SHE WAS EVEN SINGLE?! |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | She was meant to be healing. |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | Another bloke who's name begins with a J! |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | Why not a man who's name begins with an S?! |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | NEXT YOU'LL TELL ME THAT HER PET PARROT, |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | ACTUALLY FUCKING LIKES HIM! |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | My Fuhrer, the parrot is quite a character once you get to know- |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | I'VE SEEN IT FLY HEAD FIRST INTO A BOWL OF HOMEMADE PASTA! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | My Fuhrer, that pasta was delicious. |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | It fucking was and thanks for now making me hungry! |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | It was phenomenal! |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | Did he lure in by cooking her a bowl |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | of Thai Green curry and making it look like a task?! |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | ANY FUCKING ARSEHOLE CAN MAKE THAT GARBAGE! |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | BBC GOODFOOD HAS FUCKED ME OVER AGAIN! |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | I DON'T NEED YOUR FUCKING LIFE STORY! |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | JUST GIVE ME THE FUCKING RECIPE! |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | 'OOO BECKY LOOK I MADE AN EFFORT AND SHOPPED AT WAITROSE!' |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | I would've done something more special for her. |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | Do you know how hard it is to find a plush Sparx toy, |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | or a signed copy of Enter Shikari's album 'The Spark?!' |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | She plays drums even. |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | DID HE TURN UP WITH A FUCKING DRUM-STICK HOLDER FOR HER TOO?! |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | 6 FOOT OF CUNT AND 12 STONE OF MOTHERFUCKER! |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | I'm fucked if he winks at her with his eyes. |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | He's colour-blind and has the mind of a child! |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | No 35 year old man is this much fun! |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | It's ok Anna, he doesn't even look 35. |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | That cute, kind, and clever waitress from The Sportsman... |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | Almost nearly the one that got away... |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | Does she have a PS5? |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | That prick, probably does. |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | Who the fuck waits 8 years to make a move? |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | He has got to be a serial killer. |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | But he didn't sell himself short. |
