| 00:00 - 00:03 | Where's Hegseth? |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | (Burps). Here, sir. |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | We've got eyes on a gardener here |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | caller said he looks brown |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | and was listening to Bad Bunny |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | Bad Bunny is |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | Puerto Rican. I think they're legal. |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Apologies sir. |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | It's hard to tell them apart. |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | Idiot. Who cares where they are from? |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | Down, Miller. |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Leave the room if you skipped the parade. |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | Have you shit weasels ever |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | been to a real parade? |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | A good one, like the Chinese or the gays put on? |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | They march! They dance! They salute! |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | They caress me with their eyes |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | as they pass by! |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | Yesterday was a disaster! |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | What were the soldiers wearing? Pajamas? |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | Combat fatigues, sir. |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | I spend a trillion dollars a year for wrinkly sweat pants? |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | They're protective and easy to move in, sir |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | Squeaky fucking tanks? Do you think Putin's tanks squeak? |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | They're silent! Silent! |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | Where were the crowds? |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | Where was Lee Greenwood? |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | There were more protesting in Idaho |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | wherever that is! |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | I put up barriers! I said fill the mall! I said fill the skies! |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | I said make them weep and tremble! |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | "Trump" will ring from heaven" I told you! Love! Glory! Fear! |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | I spent two months on this ... |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | I lift you from Fox News to the heights of power! |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | I release you from decency! Obligation! Morality! |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | I make you kings! |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | Rulers! Lords! Destroyers of worlds! |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | The economy is dying but we had a parade! |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | It had to be big! |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | We're chopping health care! Medicaid! |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | I loathe Medicare! The poors get it! |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | We'll come up with something Karoline |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | And what do you give me? |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | A Shriner's march in Poughkeepsie. |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | Wherever that is. |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | It was also my birthday, you know. |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | Not that it matters to you. |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | Elon promised to call. |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | I could have been golfing. |
