DOWNFALL: Coconut-Pilled Edition
171 views • 7/24/2024
(DOWNFALL Parody) Donald Trump learns that Joe Biden has withdrawn from the race and endorsed Kamala Harris. He doesn't take it well.
| 00:00 - 00:03 | While everyone is still reeling from our announcements that |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | we’re banning mifepristone, withdrawing the US from NATO, |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | and starting massive deportation proceedings, |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | we’ll enact Project 2025, quickly replacing government employees with |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | vetted lackeys whose loyalty to you supersedes that to the Constitution. |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | Compromise the Justice Department as soon as possible. |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | Sic my DOJ on those losers. Starting with Biden. |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | President Trump ... |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | Sir ... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | Biden has withdrawn from the race and endorsed Kamala Harris. |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | The Democrats are united and energized. The narrative has shifted. |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Everyone except Vance, Miller, Jackson, and Junior: Leave. |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | What the FUCK?! |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | I had this election in the bag! |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | I broke the Republican Party’s spine and turned them into my ball-washing lickspittles! |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | The press ignored every fucked up thing I said or did! |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | I incited a fucking insurrection and got people killed! |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | They still treated me like a normal candidate! And Biden like he was me! |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | The GOP and the press were my bitch! I could get away with anything! |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | And now I’m fucked because of the civic virtue of an Irish-American prick! |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | Daddy, it isn’t that bad. There’s got to be an angle! |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | I’m fucked! I’m so goddamn fucked! Don’t you understand? |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | Daddy, maybe we can call Harris a slut! |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | Has all that coke burned up your remaining brain cells? I’m fucked! |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | Our whole campaign was that Biden was old! |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | Old and decrepit and mentally deficient. |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | The press ignored my decline and focused entirely on him! |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | Now I’m the old man in the campaign! I’m the decrepit and addled one! |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | Put me and Harris side-by-side, I look like a withered, dissolute orange testicle! |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | My VP is a weird, incel-adjacent, ass-kissing flip-flopper with the charisma of a mottled eunuch! |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | All the fucking money we wasted campaigning against Biden! |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | The money I'll lose from unsold “FJB” and “Let’s Go Brandon” merch that I peddle to the suckers! |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | Some kid shoots at me. I’m suddenly a bad ass. |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | MAGA starts wearing ear diapers. I’m invincible. I’m inevitable. |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | Now no one gives a shit. It’s all about Biden and Harris. |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | This isn't fair. |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | My handpicked SCOTUS Justices gave me almost total immunity and impunity! |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | A “Get Out of Jail Free" card and hall pass to do whatever the fuck I want! |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | I was going to be a MAGA Messiah that survived an assassination! |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | Now all I have to look forward to is a 6 x 8 cell, no makeup, |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | and annual conjugal visits with my participation-trophy wife! |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | It’s okay, Melania. That activates Part 61F of the pre-nup. You’ll be rich. |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | If that little shit had better aim, I would gone out like a boss. |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | MAGA would have turned into a literal cult worshipping me. |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | Now I’m just going to die in prison. |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | A pathetic loser, just like Father said I’d be. |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | And I still need to report to Putin and tell him that I failed. Again. |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | He isn’t as even-tempered and forgiving as I am. |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | If I’m lucky, maybe he’ll put me out of my fucking misery. |
No comments yet.
