| 00:00 - 00:03 | The Intersquad, everthing is prepared |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | Captains were chosen. |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | Egg selections have been made. |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | Weather looks good.... |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | and we are anticipating some great cricket! |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | Who did we put in charge of the egg sarnies? |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | and Nigel's keys? |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Sir |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | .... Paul |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | ... Paul Davey said he was available and keen. |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | He promised to keep his trousers on. |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Everyone but team Captains, keepers and umpires, leave. |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | What the fuck were you thinking |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | Paul fucking Davey putting shell in the sarnies! |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | and his trousers will be round his ankles |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | Did you not think of the residents of Hove? |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | What about Nigel's keys? |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | They will be lost while he is shitting in the bushes! |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | What a mess. Clarke you are an idiot. |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | 50 fixtures a year does not excuse you |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | Sir. The oppo are weak-medium in every game |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | That's what they tell you, damn idiot! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | Sir, we win some games |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | We don't win you blithering imbecile |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | THEY LOSE |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | They just see us as batting practice |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | The Intersquad is the highlight of the year |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | And you've messed it up again |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | It's our chance to fight Tiger against Tiger |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | Gout against sciatica, dob against dob |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | It's the pinnacle of the Tiger calendar |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | Why don't you all just fuck off and play padel |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | What have I done to deserve this |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | I accept the bad umpiring |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | the lack of umpires |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | the shitty scorebook |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | All of the shit I put up with to try and score a few |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | An entire day, every time |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | The sights I have seen |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | My memory is scarred from this shit |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | Utterly bonkers the lot of you |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | It's ok, the wives are quite normal |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | I'm nearing the end of the road |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | How many overs have I got left in me |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | Bollocks |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | The lemon drizzle was nice |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | Do you think we can make things better? |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | Or is it all over? |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | Fuck it, I'm joining Yellow Stumps |
