| 00:00 - 00:03 | You just have to win one of the last two games |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | One of them is against Hoss. |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | The other against Troy. |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | He might bench his entire team. |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | Playing Hoss is like having a bye week. |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | My team is very healthy |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | Jonathan Taylor is in top form |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | My fuhrer |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | Jonathan Taylor |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | Jonathan Taylor is having thumb surgery |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | They think he might be back in 3 weeks |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Everyone in the playoffs leave the room |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | I took the gamble of the season |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | Survived the first 4 weeks of his contract bullshit |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | and he's hurt when i have two must win games? |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | I have to start Zach fucking Moss |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | ZACH FUCKING MOSS |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | And Aaron Jones is worthless |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | Tank Dell will probably get murdered out there too this week |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | Tank Dell is completely healthy right now |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | HE WONT BE WITH MY FUCKING LUCK |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | At least you still have Justin Herbert |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | JUSTIN HERBERT IS TRASH |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | I AM NOT GOING TO BE THE TUNA |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | Sarah has the most trash squad ever |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | and its still actual players who can get points |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | not this damaged squad of garbage |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | I'm going to be taking the fucking SATS |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | Or at an open mic comedy night |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | the rest of the league writing my goddamn jokes |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | most of them have never told a joke in their lives |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | Have you ever heard Brett tell an actual joke |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | his humor comes from playing off everyone else |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | I cannot be the tuna |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | And i'm going to lose to FUCKING HOSS |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | This is unacceptable on every level |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | I hate fantasy football |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | I scored the most points for most the season |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | And would win easily but for these injuries |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | and Rob fucking White gets the #1 seed |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | Your team isn't so bad, you might still win |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | Rob White's team really is that bad |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | John isn't even paying attention and he's in the playoffs |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | Freeman will probably win again |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | Patrick Freeman and all his malfeasance |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | I'd be in the playoffs right now if Troy wasn't bullied like a little bitch but now what do i do |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | Get lit up by davante adams who's had like one good week? |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | Fuck you Aaron Jones. |
