| 00:00 - 00:03 | All polling places are now closed. |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | Results are starting to arrive. |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | We just got NSW,, more than 59% voted NO |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | Nearly 69% Queenslanders voted NO, the highest percentage of NO votes, |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | Even in our stronghold Victoria, 55% voted No |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | Did we get a YES majority anywhere? |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | in any state and territory? |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | My Prime Minister |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | ACT... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | ACT was the only state or territory |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | that achieved a majority YES vote |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Any of you that voted NO behind my back, get out now. |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | HOW FUCKING DARE YOU!! |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE MY CROWNING GLORY!! |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO MY TICKET INTO THE WEF AND THEIR BOUNTIFUL WEALTH!!! |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO SHOW OFF TO UNCLE KLAUS |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | THAT WE'RE A COMPLIANT NATION TO THE WEF |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | WHEN NONE OF YOU COCKSUCKERS CAN MAKE SURE WE WIN |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | ALL MY JETSETTING BEGGING AROUND THE WORLD |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | TO WORLD LEADERS HAS ALL GONE STRAIGHT TO THE SHITTER |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | But Albo, John Farnham let us use his song free of charge! |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | Fuck John Farnham! people burnt his CD's as a result!! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | But Albo. We got the YES message plastered everywhere conceivable |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | The message clearly wasn't plastered everywhere in traditional Labor Heartland |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | IT DIDN'T FUCKING WORK!!! |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | Aussies don't like being told |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | what to do by “elite” CEOs |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | or sporting leagues, sportspeople or celebrities |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | and that Qantas plane with the YES message flying around |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | clearly did absolute fuck all to get us any goddamn votes in the ballot box |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | Oh, how I had to beg Alan to give us a plane |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | Besides, who really gives a fuck if the Uluru statement was 26 fucking pages? |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | When you aim high, |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | sometimes you fall short because of a divisive and dirty |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | NO smear campaign |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | now we need to find |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | another $450 million dollars, which we threw away running this referendum |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | and now the Liberals & Nationals has got us by the balls, when |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | they have Warren Mundine and Jacinta Nampijinpa Price |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | that turned all the first nations people against us |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | and making them have a 2nd look at the Uluru Statement |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | Don't worry Linda, you'll keep your Gucci |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | Now the people have really spoken |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | Am I still going to be able to be their Prime Minister? |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | For much longer? |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | I'm off to China soon |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | I hope the Chinese people will embrace me the way they embraced and loved Emmanuel Macron |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | or my great mate Dan Andrews |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | Hope their welcome to the country ceremony is as good as ours. |
