| 00:00 - 00:03 | We open our new store here in Middlewich |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | The store has its own car park |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | But it is next to the council car park which is free |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | We hope to make money from fools who park in our car park |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | Even some from idiots who drive from Winsford, where we also have a store. |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | Get Parking Eye to do the car park |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | They'll screw them good |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Store Manager |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | Parking Eye are |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | Parking Eye are a nasty bunch |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | They charge innocent people |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Everybody out except the checkout assistants |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | We make bugger all on the food |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | Screw them on the parking charges! |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | Especially those who can't see a yellow line! |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | They deserve it! |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | I don't care if they threaten a boycott |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | And as for the school kids... |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | Make the lazy sods walk! |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | I used to walk 10 miles to school |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | But what if it is raining? |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | Sell them an umbrella! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | We sell food, not goods |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | So go to the Factory Shop, buy some umbrellas |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | And put a quid on the price |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | Do I make myself clear? |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | We will run Morrisons out of town! |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | Then Lidl will kneel before us |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | Begging for mercy. |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | And once Cheshire East start charging |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | for their car park we will have |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | them by the balls! |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | How difficult can it be |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | to make money from the |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | people of this town? |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | I knew we should have gone to Sandbach |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | I bet they'd welcome us with open arms |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | Or even Holmes Chapel |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | But no, we had to come to Middlewich |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | with all its canals |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | The place hasn't even got a bypass! |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | Don't worry, Cheshire East will build it one day |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | Now I grow weary |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | I just wanted to bring the people |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | of Middlewich something |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | better than they had. |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | But they hark back to Jack's |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | There is no pleasing some folk |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | Now get me a pie from Howes.... |
