Ballpen CRMI & MDM Tribe
When the top management discovers the shape we are in for Ballpen, all hell breaks loose
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| 00:00 - 00:03 | Frey is busy finalizing the runbook for DR2 |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | We are starting with the packages on October 1st |
| 00:05 - 00:08 | The creation of PSPs is foreseen on the 8th |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | The generation of the mapping file for product factories is expected on the 13th |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | And we predict all the data will be loaded in NetReveal by the 22nd around 8.30PM |
| 00:17 - 00:18 | I suppose everything is perfectly ready by now |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | It should just be a matter of formality to execute |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | My Tribe Lead |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | We... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | We have only mapped 20 out of 200 attributes |
| 00:34 - 00:37 | We are still expected to develop a lot of scope between now and the go-live |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Everyone except Cina, Lieve and the members of the core team, leave the room |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | How the hell is this possible? |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | How long can it possibly take to map some stupid customer data? |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | It's been over 2 years since we know we are merging |
| 01:25 - 01:30 | And you are now telling me we stand on red? |
| 01:30 - 01:31 | It's ok honey, there is always DR3 |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | Red, blue, green, yellow, purple, I don't care! |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | But we must have all the customers and their data by January 19th |
| 01:38 - 01:40 | I will not accept PSPs with just a name and nothing else! |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | My Tribe Lead, the data quality at Bpost Bank is really bad |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | Then push it to Data Governance, why do you think we have a team of 20 people called "Data Quality"? |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | My Tribe Lead, the DPO is blocking the delivery of the files |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | I don't care if you have to walk to Bpost to get the data on a USB stick |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | Just get it done! |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | Do you just realize how bad we're looking right now? |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | Reporting that we are not there with our customers |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | While all the Tribes are looking at us to migrate their products! |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | Now Marc Camus will want a daily report on his desk every morning |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | How come? Because we can't map 2 phone numbers and give them a stupid KYC file? |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | Do you think he cares for one second? |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | Back in 1999, when we merged CGER & ASLK, we were 10 times faster and we barely had computers |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | So much work went into building ourselves a good reputation with NCO |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | Now it's all destroyed. |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | Nobody has faith anymore in our ability to deliver |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | I wonder why |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | I told you a million years ago to replace the mainframe because all development takes too long |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | 8 fucking story points to put a simple QUA on PSPs? |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | And don't even get me started on the state of the runbook |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | Meanwhile Donald is busy booking hotel rooms for the actors of the DR2 |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | Is this why we let him go to the Fold-in? |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | It's ok Sonja, it will be over on 22nd of January |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | And Thomas reported all green at the QBR last week |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | We are looking like a bunch of idiots |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | I can already warn you |
| 03:31 - 03:34 | We are going to be working every single week-end until February |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | Next time, when I tell you we are too late to start refining, please listen to me |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | Instead of wasting your energy on 2000 agriculture clients |
| 03:53 - 03:57 | Now go deliver the missing scope else I place you all at the Bpost counters |