| 00:00 - 00:03 | Kris's forces have broken through a number of areas |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | They have taken key positions |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | In the North, the South and the East |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | They are now surrounding our base and have cut us off |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | They are now planning to finish us off for good |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | Don't worry Ross has a green beret |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | his counter attack will change things |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Ben we have bad news |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | Very bad news |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | Ross thought he was all ghillied up. |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | But Joanie caught him and shot him in the arse |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Anyone who thinks Kris is the best please leave now |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | That was a fucking order |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | They told me Ross was special forces |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | He's not supposed to have been shot up the arse by a little girl |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | Scott I could have understood |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | He barely walks, let alone runs. |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | But how can Ross be shot by a school girl |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | He's bottled it like his team did against Liverpool the other night |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | if I wanted someone to go in, I should have called Joe |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | We tried to get Joe but he was too busy |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | You mean he is shagging sheep in New Zealand |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | Ben that is outrageous. Grannys maybe but not sheep |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | I knew I should have got Bruce and Janet |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | Even Rudy would have been better |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | Kris has got a broken toe |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | And a torn rotator cuff |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | And yet he is still like Rambo out there |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | I've got an entire team of toy soldiers |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | They wouldn't even get into the salavtion army |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | Every computer game Kris has beaten me |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | Now he will win the paitnball too because my team have flown like starlings |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | I could never beat him at anything |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | I had the best chance here |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | To finally beat him at something |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | But I have been let down |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | I knew I should have put Claudine on the team |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | And Dave as rear guard and everything would have been alright |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | Now we wont even win |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | lunch in the hungry horse and it's 2 for 1 today |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | We'll all be in Greggs with a sausage roll |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | Dont worry Rebecca we will get something for Rudy |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | We will have to accept |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | That Kris is the best at everything |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | We can't deny it |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | We were stupid thinking we could win |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | I've ballsed everything up like Nigel does |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | This is the most embarrasing moment of my life |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | It's even worse than when Lilly laughs in public |
