| 00:00 - 00:03 | And so as you can see |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | by having the two best |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | players on the planet |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | we were assured postseason success. |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | We will win our first playoff game in 15 years |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | Yes, Trout can be depended upon |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | He's a living legend |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Bro... |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | Trout |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | Trout suffered a broken wrist in July |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | We'll be lucky to get 100 games from him |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Everyone out, except for Arte, Nevin, and Perry |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | We can't keep fucking doing this! |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | Year after year, this team looks good on paper |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | But you idiots always find new ways to screw it up! |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | How hard is it to not give your payroll away |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | to Anthony fucking Rendon?! |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | It's just like the Pujols deal all over again |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | You had the easiest trade deadline decision ever |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | and you KEPT SHOHEI?! |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | Bro we had a chance to make the playoffs and - |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | Playoffs? This team is a mess! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | Bro, we had to try to win with Shohei |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | You've been trying for the past 6 years |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | You've got nothing to show for it! |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | Haven't even finished within 10 games of first |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | since 2015 and Mike fucking Scioscia |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | And yes, that includes the Brad Asumus and "baseball genius" Joe Maddon eras |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | And you, Arte, you were going to finally sell the team |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | and save us from your meddling like the fucking Scooby Doo gang. |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | You gave us hope we'd never hear from you again |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | But your fucking ego always ruins everything |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | The Rangers, of all teams, |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | Have won, tanked, rebuilt, and are winning again |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | All in the time we've been oscillating between 3rd and 4th place |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | Oh and Shohei? |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | Shohei is gone you fools. Why would he sign up for more of this? We're not the only team in LA!! |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | You could have faced reality and gotten something for him so this drought doesn't last 20 years |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | Don't you even bring up the comp pick we'll get. That's pity from MLB. |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | It's like the entire team is Jo Adell |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | All we hear is how bright the future is and then you piss your pants |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | It's okay. Jo Adell has a .956 OPS in AAA this year |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | And you actually bought at the deadline |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | As if Giolito and CJ Cron will save us |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | It's pathetic |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | We're the laughing stock of baseball |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | Phil Nevin is morphing into Mike Sciosca before our eyes |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | Trout is signed through 2030 so we'll need to dump him for salary relief |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | At least we still have the rally monkey |
