Simon goes to Red

Share
37 views8/13/2026
Leaving present for Simon for his retirement, going to his favourite restaurant in Guernsey.

0 Comments

Be the first to leave a comment.

Show captions (49)
00:00 - 00:03we're going to Red today?
00:04 - 00:05yes let's go
00:05 - 00:07it's near the office
00:08 - 00:12we checked and they have a table free
00:12 - 00:15we just need to get there quickly
00:17 - 00:19let's get going
00:19 - 00:21i'm keen to get drinking
00:24 - 00:26Simon...
00:27 - 00:28So
00:31 - 00:33There is no Musar and
00:34 - 00:36they've lost your knife
00:53 - 00:58Leave the room - Gill, Pollins, Rowland and Randall.
01:13 - 01:15Don't they know who I am?
01:15 - 01:17I am a Lieutenant Bailiff
01:18 - 01:23I always use my knife and drink strong Lebanese wine
01:25 - 01:28Heads will roll.
01:29 - 01:31Are they making me drink French piss instead?
01:31 - 01:34Do they still have Anthony Williams' knife?
01:34 - 01:37And where is Marietta nowadays?
01:37 - 01:40It's a fucking disgrace!
01:40 - 01:42Simon, I can get us into Costa
01:42 - 01:46That place doesn't even have proper knives!
01:46 - 01:48They do make great toasties
01:48 - 01:52Piss off with your toasties
01:53 - 01:54I want my Musar!
01:56 - 01:57And my own knife!
01:57 - 02:00I can't go to Red without it
02:00 - 02:03I don't want to sit with the plebs
02:04 - 02:08Next you'll be telling me they have no steak!
02:08 - 02:13And no sharing platter starters?
02:14 - 02:16That would be the beginning of the end.
02:17 - 02:21Go and get me Dave's number
02:27 - 02:29He will be able to help me.
02:30 - 02:34He knows how important I am.
02:34 - 02:36He always looks after me.
02:41 - 02:42He knows.
02:43 - 02:47This is an absolute disgrace!
02:48 - 02:53I am a judge of the Royal Court
02:54 - 02:56They must show me respect.
02:56 - 02:59Otherwise I will make them pay!
03:00 - 03:02I will sing to them
03:04 - 03:07Don't worry, he won't really.
03:14 - 03:16I have Queen songs on my phone
03:19 - 03:23I just don't know which one to choose
03:25 - 03:26Well...
03:31 - 03:33There's only one choice.
03:40 - 03:46It just has to be Bohemian Rhapsody
03:46 - 03:49Just don't make me sing Meatloaf
03:53 - 03:56I won't do that.