| 00:00 - 00:03 | Col, Will. I have booked the TOPL and pulled some HETS out my ass. |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | I know you like data, so i've made another graph over here. |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | Our ADW is slightly less shit than last time |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | NTT's are up, Landy has just put his fingers up Fulford's nose and there's blood on the carpet |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | also you dog has just been sick again and it smells like quiche |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | Ok but how does this fit into the Scarlet Book? |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | I can't keep saying "No Points" in meetings. Cox does it and i'm sure he's lying |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Col Richmond |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | Freddie..... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | Freddie's gone rogue again. |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | D Sqn are acting like the chickens in Chicken Run |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Everyone leave us. Alex, Tom, Matty stay. Cox, you've done the RSO course, dial in Adam and Ed |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | This is fucking unacceptable |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | When I was an OC, I was really good. |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | I can't understand a word Adam says, it's all bloody foreign to me. |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | Tom would be good if he could actually see through his eyebrows and Matty can't even see at all. |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | This situation is worse than being stranded in a Polish airport |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | I've not been this angry since the Climate Assessment and even that was mild |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | And I haven't even got started on the Mess. Pyro Dave and his chums burned down the garages |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | Every time I eat the cookies at Coffee, my medball throw goes up the fucking spout |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | But Col, you wanted to be a Lancer Athlete |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | I didn't think throwing a weighted ball would be that fucking hard |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | Col Will, you need to speak to Craig. He can throw it just fine |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | Oh and what will he think, when I go cap in had? |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | Physical robustness is in the Scarlet Book. It's even got a QR code |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | How can I explain to my 1RO that we are battleworthy, excellent and winning |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | When all we do is have lunch and talk about paintings |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | I'm sat there with Jimmy talking about some random shit |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | And he has the audacity to leave me at a fucking airport and book me into a closed hotel |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | It's almost as bad as babysitting a bunch of mad Danes in Fucking Scotland |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | Do you have any idea how close I came to filling them in? |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | I've broken Marriott, he's gone. The RSO avoids RHQ and the IO is an alcoholic |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | Somebody get me Padre John, I need advice from God. |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | In fact, probably not John then |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | Craig, get my piano from my house. |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | I'm nearly grade 8 |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | grade 8! it's basically really good. |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | How do you think i unwind in the evenings? |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | I certainly don't let Neil read bedtime stories. |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | He talks so slowly. |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | I can't let Humphrey back in the house. The kids would beat him up. |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | JJ, It's ok. He hasn't noticed your lack of chin |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | No wonder all these soldiers are going AWOL |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | Maybe i do work them too hard |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | Tom, Matty, you are my last two OC's left |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | You need to find Bridgeman |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | The last Lancer in Ukraine was Buchanan and look how that turned out |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | Huw doesn't count. He's gone to tap peoples phones |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | and Ed is off being punched in the dick as COS |
